Reviews for Anger
xmovedx chapter 1 . 12/4/2011
this is a great piece. i love the imagery; it's really well painted.

one improvement i think could be made is with your punctuation. i know it's freeverse - i write with a similar style - and i do think you've got a good idea with the lack of any solid punctuation, like a period. it makes it feel like you're falling with the narrator. however, it feels a tiny bit sloppy here and there. i think it could benefit from semicolons, maybe.

also, a stylistic thing. (you may already do this; i haven't read any of your other work.) if you press shift-enter rather than enter after a line, you could a single line break rather than double space. it makes a poem look cleaner. that's purely opinion, though, so don't worry about it(:

but anyway, i love this piece, like i said. the line "screams/ are no match for/ thunder's snapping teeth in/ my veins" is my favorite; it really got me. i shivered reading this, it's a great emotional piece. keep writing!(:
Inkspilled chapter 1 . 12/4/2011
Loved the start and end, the imagery really caught your eye. Not so sure about the word choice 'wing', as it threw me off a little. Loved how you came full circle and ended the poem so nicely, though you used the word veins quite a bit. I'm probably just being picky, so don't mind that. Overall, I really liked some of the imagery you used here. :)