|Reviews for Betrothed to Death|
| Maggie chapter 2 . 5/5/2016
There are some errors. You may want to do some editing. I am enjoying it otherwise, though.
| Maggie chapter 1 . 5/5/2016
Maybe I missed it, but how old is she when he comes for her? She's obviously younger than twenty-one but older than eleven.
| Guest chapter 10 . 7/31/2014
Not liking the lover...:/ can we pair him off with the sister?
| ScarletDusk chapter 31 . 5/25/2014
Beautiful...And I loved how you put emphasis on Death not being an antagonist. My thoughts exactly. Keep up the good work :D
| ajashire1 chapter 31 . 3/17/2014
This was fantastic and I it is definitely in my top ten favorite relationships. I really did enjoy this Death and Tori's relationship had me giggling, laughing, crying, disappointed, hopeful, and even enraged at times. But, that's just love.
| Anndi chapter 11 . 10/18/2013
Love your story! :) I'd like to know what's going on in Orcus' mind! XD hey, I cant find the pics... :( can you send me a pm with the whole link? Pleeeease! :)
| Julianna chapter 5 . 9/19/2013
Omfg...I'm so glad I've stumbled onto this site and onto your story. Holy geez this is awesome! I love how adorable Orcus is...even if he is a bit of a dolt. It's beautifully written :)
| DreaminOfLove22 chapter 30 . 8/1/2013
Absolutely loved your story. I have to admit I stayed up later than I should have to read it. I was also bawling my eyes out at some parts. I am glad they had a happy ending!
| Traidy chapter 30 . 5/27/2013
I must admit - I did not want to finish this. And I do not say this in the manner of 'this is so good I never want it to end'. Half way through this story, I was a tad bored, the plot was losing me a bit, the timeline was a bit skewed, and I founded myself on facebook and youtube, grudgingly pulling myself back to this tab just to finish the chapter. I am hard pressed to give up on a story when I've invested some hours on it, but there were times when I was close to just exiting out of the tab due to either my dislike on how the story was proceeding, or the inability to over look the timing and facts of certain things, or any other reason I disliked this story.
But I must say, I am glad I finished.
This was one of those stories that, the beginning is enticing, the middle is a tad hard to keep up with, but the ending delivers, and you can forget about the middle. Although, I would have liked that little last blurb of 'two years later' to show she was pregnant again to prove that despite her near death (Ha. Ha.) experience, and the skepticism in the face of reassurance from her doctor, she wasn't afraid. Also, you barely touched on Orcus's panic moment when the alarm goes off, I would have elaborated on what he was thinking/feeling/etc, but that's just me.
So anyway, my point being, I truly liked your story, once I was finished.
Besides the opinions on what one reader thinks should be added, I would suggest, picking apart each chapter with a fine toothed comb just to make sure that everything, despite being in a fantastical world, is true to fact. I felt, having taken care of young children and new mothers, that some of the experience Astoria was going through was merely brushed over or not touched on at all, and those things could definitely be used to give her character further depth. Or the milestones the twins reached. I was confused, were they reaching those milestones early because of the Other World blood? Or did more time pass than was let on? At a month old, very few if any babies play with toys, unless a parent or second party is holding the toy. So this confused me. Little things like this turned me away, perhaps if you aren't so sure on things, I suggest research research research. Research your self out, until you are so sick of it, you start noticing things you've researched in your daily life. 'Babies can only see about ten inches in front of their face when they are born, the distance between them and their mothers' face' oh hey, that's how far my computer screen is from my face, so figure. You start to weird yourself out you do so much research.
Anyhow, It is super later, and I can no think of anything to pick apart that is huge that poses a real threat within this piece of work. It is nicely written, I found few if any spelling errors, and the structure did not inhibit progress at all.
My only true cause for concern for this work, readers may hit those couple of middle chapters and struggle to push themselves through, thus you lose readers.
But otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, it is unlike any story I've encountered thus far. Completely original, hard to guess ahead.
I will admit to thinking that Rose was going to be born with Astoria's mother's soul. Or, once I reached the part in the chapter, with Astoria herself.
Thank you for writing.
| LOL chapter 30 . 5/10/2013
Amazing, I don't think I've ever liked a story more! 5/5, keep up the good work!
| cloud9cas chapter 30 . 2/7/2013
Holy Cracker Jacks, Woman! I thought I was going to have to kill you during chapter 29! Alas, you made all well in the end and Orcus finally admitted his love for Astoria. *sigh* Good work, dear. :}
| LOL chapter 9 . 2/5/2013
Somehow, I'm glad you mentioned abortion. I seem to side with the people from the Other World better than a fair amount of this world's population.
| LOL chapter 5 . 2/5/2013
read the note thingy. This story is really good, an you are pretty good at writing!
| Ney13 chapter 10 . 11/24/2012
Lol, all I gotta say is poor Umona. She always gets the brunt of Astoria's selfish moments
| Nadel chapter 6 . 11/19/2012
loving this story :D