Reviews for Betrothed to Death
Mkirk chapter 7 . 12/18/2011
Wow at first I was really surprised that he suggested her having an affair, but then considering the circumstances I wasn't as surprised. I do wonder how long it will last considering it's not that he as an inability to love, but just refuses to.

I'm also surprised Astoria is already in love with Aesar. I understand she is desperate for love, but I still don't think Aesar's love is the kind she is searching for. I'm curious to see where you are going to take it. I kind of feel like Astoria and Aesar's love is artificial and once Ocrus comes to his senses, or is able to let this anti-love wall down, Astoria will realize she was just using Aesar to fill a void. Obviously right now she probably just feels like a living incubator for Ocrus' baby and I imagine might get quite depressed about again soon.

Just a suggestion or request: Although I haven't published on FP I do know from other authors that the doc manager has be iffy lately, but I would request that when you're shifting scenes or time, you could make some sort of page break. It would just make it easier to follow.

Other than that you are a really good writer and I love this story. I'm not sure why more people haven't reviewed, but hopefully that will change as you update more.
krentantislietusgmail.com chapter 5 . 12/16/2011
I have just read your story and found it truly interesting and entrancing. It seems like a great beginning and leaves me wondering what will happen next.

I don't have any specific suggestions of what could happen next, however it would be nice to see the characters successfully developing further, as well as perhaps more detailed Ocrus''work time' description (since I suppose it should be directly influencing his personality, thus would help to get to know the character better).

I am by no means a writer or a critic and I just wanted to let you now that there are people who have read this story and are eagerly waiting for a new chapter (I am sure there are a lot of readers who by some mysterious reason just don't bother to write a review and many more who aren't even registered to this website (like myself)).

Good luck in writing (whatever you choose to write).
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