Reviews for Playing with Fire
AlieraCaffrey chapter 1 . 12/28/2011
This story is quite interesting. Your descriptions are very well written. However, your story has loads of said-bookism. 'She remarked', 'she declared', 'he huffed' (how can you 'huff' words?), 'he stated'. It is OK to use 'said' and 'asked' all the time because the words don't distract the reader from the dialogue. The main character is... confusing. Griehm is an interesting person, but I can't relate to him at all. I understand that it may be your intention to give little information about him at the beginning of the story, but in my opinion, it would be better if you described a little of Griehm's past and told the reader more about his character in general. You could also include more descriptions about the world this story is set in. It took me a while to realise this isn't set in the twentieth or the twenty first century and that the action takes place in another world. Overall, it's a good story and so far, I really like it.
Kaal chapter 1 . 12/22/2011
I can't believe noone has reviewed this yet.

I'm lovin' this story so the way you describe things. It's not too flowery or fluffy, yet it puts a picture in my !