Please update this is amazing and i want to know what happens next, i love reading your story updates they brighten my day! update soon if possible!

Oooo! Havent read this story for awhile, but its doing great! :D

Good job! Keep going!

I love the foreboding feeling in this chapter. The plot is coming together nicely. Well done :)

Lovely descriptions :) I am really liking how you describe the scenarios, it puts a clear picture in my head. Anyway, just a spelling mistake here: "I came here of my own accord, when my sons were only babes." :)

Amazing chapter!

I revel everytime I read one of your updates. I feel as if I am reading a book from the library; it is of that high caliber. It is an actual book! You better copyright this one- it is a keeper- because I can see others trying to steal it. The weave of this story draws one into its folds and will not release you until the plot has come to the two sacred words- "The End." Brilliant plotline! I enjoy this story so much, it is truly wonderful! Thank you for updating.

Update soon U pleeeeaaase? :p

Well intriguing chapter! It quite captured my attention so I was really engrossed in reading it - but it seemed to be a pretty clean chapter. Maybe sentences here and there could have been rephrased to be more succinct and have a better impact, but overall, it was a well-written chapter with no errors that I could see.

I felt the way you described the characters to be well done. Their emotions are really clear, and you give realistic justification to their actions. For example, Capron's father - though rather mean and bigoted - is given justification for his reasonings. He has seen the worst of magicians and being stubborn (like Capron), it will take a lot of effort for him to change his opinion - effort that Capron and Ardis don't have time to give. As for Ardis, I loved that little bit where she decides that words are meaningless - it's really true and it also shows how wise Ardis has grown throughout her journey. She's gone from a servant girl being locked in a castle away from the world to a magician who understands the world around her. Then when you got to Felix, I liked how you explained why he preferred to not be angry. It gives more context into his personality and the way he is - I think it was a great point in the development of his character.

But this plot is getting more intense. The foreboding manner of the King's words worry me. The King seems to know something about what will happen, and so does Callana. Clearly things are taking a different route than what any of the characters (except maybe Nadia and Osra) anticipated. I'm really interested to learn about Nadia's plan. To eradicate all the humans but not kill them? What are they going to do? Send them to another world or make them mere ghosts? Or just make them disappear forever? Blood isn't shed in that way. There are many other plot points that I'm curious about like: what are they planning to do with Imara? Will the real Torin play any key part in the last part of this story? what decision has caused Callana's initial future to change? Overall, I think the next few chapters will be very exciting - I'm curious to see what you'll make of it and how everything will advance. I will say that you've set up an engrossing plot filled with many twists and turns - it's something unique, something that just pulls the readers in and leaves us hanging.

Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter! It had the right mixture of emotion, plot development, and intensity to keep my interest going. Can't wait for your next update (though reviews might still be slow on my end of things)!

Signing off...

I'm sorry for being so behind on reviewing this story. I usually try to get to the chapter the moment it's updated but I've been slightly busy with life and that's made me behind on all my alerts.

[She had never seen Capron more at a loss for word then she did at that moment.] "Word" should be "words" - just missing an "s"

["Exactly. Now, what would make a girl like you think that?" The King asked] Don't need to capitalize "the"

Anyways, interesting chapter. So the King is a ghost... Well that was a twist I did not expect though it fits the way your story has so many twists and turns. But I see how everything is starting to add up. This chapter really gave me more information to see how this whole mess started. So Osra was the magician who left with the King and the King met Nadia. The two locked the King in the Dust Lands forever, while they plotted to takeover the kingdom. Very interesting conspiracy and it was definitely something that I would never have expected. But I like how everything connects in the end. Every little subplot, like the one with the old King and such, becomes interwoven, bound together to the main plot in some way. It certainly makes the story more intriguing and the plot more beautiful!

As for characters, I was surprised to see Capron defend Ardis. Yay! That means he's starting to warm up to her despite her being a magician. It is little details like this that really show readers how deep the connection between Capron and Ardis is. Furthermore, it shows how much Capron has progressed. He's starting to not hate solely magicians. He's starting to understand there are exceptions. As for Capron's father, I like how you drew parallels between his appearance and his character with Capron's. It shows that the two are really father and son. I'm curious what his father meant though by how it starts and will end with magicians... I'm feeling a sense of foreboding with this plot.

Overall, nice chapter. Reading on...

Signing off...

P.S.: I checked out your character sketches! You are an amazing artist. :D

"Ardis's eyes went wide. "You can't tell me that we have to get past all of them. It's masness." "

*madness. I'm pretty sure 'masness' hasn't been invented yet as a word ;D

I must say, I'm getting all the more dissed off by dem backstabbers and stupid, power hungry seeking morons. U

"Ever since the night before, she had seemed a bit…OF. Hell, he said to himself, when did she not seem "off"? "

The first *off. I capitalised the word so it's not mixed up "

"We did not do this. Be the intelligent man that I know you to be. Would it not be a fool's move to flatten an entire village of a Kingdom that you are allied—albiet very tenuously—with?"

*albeit I had to check the dictionary for this. Front part :]

keep it up