GASP! He found out! This is literally the chapter I've been waiting for! Great!

Zoey

NO!

CLIFFIE!

UPDATE!

I hope Ardis and Capron become what they were soon (like they were supposed to be)

Praise God! you updated! It's about time, girl! But I must say that you are holding the tension between them very well. I am bouncing in my seat waiting for someone to snap. Hehehe, Capron character is my favorite. I can't wait to read how Ardis changes his mind! It really has to be something special sense saving his life (TWICE) hasen't made a dent. Have fun at the lake!

I really like it update soon please!

This chapter was really nice. But you left it at a cliffhanger and I am really curious as to what will happen. Your writing is splendid like always with the descriptions and everything. Also your imaginative city of glass and desert intrigues me.

Have a wonderful fun filled weekend! :)

Enjoy!(though, maybe, when you will read this you will already be back home :p :D)

P.S. Don't worry about the mistakes. You are writing really well.

This is really interesting! The whole plot seems really well though out. Please review mine. It's called Immortal, Dying. Thanks.

Zoey

...Thats a lot of magicians...Anyways, Im happy you updated! I cant wait for next Friday :D

Heya! I was getting impatient on your update so I just read the story again and I noticed an error...or so it seems.

In chapter 5-

Then there was another thought that came to mind. Her mother had told her about the man that she had to help. Was this the man? If he was, then she had to help him regardless. She had better get it over and done with. The sooner the better.

"What's your name?" She asked.

It took him a moment to register what she had said. His mind was elsewhere, it was obvious in the way his eyes were cast unmoving over the horizon. "Felix Brasston."

"Alright, Felix, I'm Ardis and I'm the one girl you can count on to help you break a criminal out of jail," She said lightly.

here Ardis just tells Felix her first name.

whereas in chapter 8-

"Who is she?" Felix asked, nodding his head toward the sharp featured woman behind Nixon.

"Another prisoner. Imara Farley."

Imara hung back as if in fear but spoke in a clear tone. "The guards found me in the river. Thought I was some sort of thief." She said with no further explanation.

"And who's this?" Nixon asked in turn, pointing to Ardis.

Ardis looked up from the patch of grass she was studying, thoughts instantly lost. "Ardis Farrow."

His gray eyes held the same coldness that they had when he had held the dagger up to her throat. "And you hired her to help you? What about those bandits out in the forest?" He spoke to his friend but he kept his gaze on Ardis. "She is just a girl."

Over here Felix is telling Nixon Ardis's FULL name while she had only mentioned her first name. unless I am mistaken and this comment was actually made by Ardis herself. If that's the case then please ignore this stupid so-called "error pointing" except the one given below, beacuse that one really got me thinking.

Also I never quiet understood how Felix could have used a young,innocent girl like Ardis to break Nixon out of the prison. I mean why the hell did he choose her? she was just a normal(pretending to be) and weaponless girl who was just travelling by. what made Felix think she could be of any use to him let alone help him break someone out of jail? unless he knows she's a magician :P...LOL

I am really sorry if I am pointing out too many mistakes. don't get the idea that I hate your story, I absolutely love it and no amount of suggestions or...eh...error pointing from my side could ever make your story bad. It is just amazing...from the writing to the imagination. I seriously think that you should get this published.

Sorry again... :p

Have a nice day! Happy writing! :) :D

Ah I love how mysterious this all is! Fantastic chapter - can't wait for the next :)

very confusing but good

It's not him! I'ts some sort of magic to look like him?

er, or, not...

This chapter was really amazing and I really was wondering when Felix and Imara would turn up.

The story is going great and don't worry about the problems. I'm sure you'll edit well. Anyway right now you focus on getting the whole story on paper so that you are actualy clear on how the plot should unfold and how the story should end. Then you can finally edit your way, keeping in mind what you need in the story and what you want removed. That's usually how I would work.

I also appreciate your writing. It seems mature and very descriptive. The story just plays in my head and it all seems just so realistic.

Good luck on the upcoming chapters :)

Happy writing!

Have a nice day! :) :D

WWONDERFUL, I am goingto follow this story cuz it intrigues me. Once it's done, I think you should publish it!

:D

Rash

x_x I am so confused! I had to reread the last part over and over again cuz i kinda forgot who was who. Then I had to reread the prologue and stuff because I didn't get why Torin is there. And I forgot who Nixon was too. Lol. Wow...just...so...confused right now. I hope you update soon so we know what's going on!

I feel so confused about what just happened...ahh well, Ill just watch out for your next chapter then :)