I would say that the reaction is belivable. It's going to be interesting to see how he is going to cop.

I thought his reaction was realistic-it was actually what I expected from him :)

I expect the monster was a giant scorpion, but I'm willing to assume any bug creature in the desert is a scorpion lol! But yeah, nice chapter although I wish it was a bit longer, or maybe have it end with Capron staring at her and saying something like "what was that?" or something idk. But you know.

Oooooo interesting story!:D and oh crap! Capron knows about her magic now! He's gonna feel so betrayed:((( cant wait to find out what he's reaction's gonna be!:D

I am addicted. Thank you!

Did you *have* to cut it off right there? Sigh... Right when Capron is about to react...

Idiot Capron. Then again, maybe not. They probably can't outrun those bronze thingies anyway.

One issue with the bronze thingies: why would they be bronze? [was there something earlier in the story I forgot?] And how would they survive in this desert? And am I supposed to think of an extra shiny, extra-large six-legged dog when I think about these monster-creatures? Maybe you could clarify the description a bit more.

Nice, Capron! Flips, twists, turns, dodges... but indeed, you can't keep that up forever. I like magic better :)

Ooh... uncontrollable magic... it's about to be revealed...

*Describe* the magic lashing out at the creatures - it probably looks powerful too. Make sure it scares/impresses the reader somehow.

Here's something I cooked up, which probably slows down the action far too much (but I like over-description): "The enchanted sand glowed faintly red with her fury. Whipping tendrils exploded out of the ground and lashed themselves around the abomination's armored legs, slowly swirling downward into the ground, pulling the bronze beast with it. As Ardis grabbed and contorted the magic now shimmering around her, the desert came alive, mirroring her hands' furious, uncontrolled movements. The doomed creature scrabbled around briefly in frustration, then outright panic, as the angry sand quickly rose up to its neck. It gave one final squeak as it disappeared into the gaping maw of the furiously twisting alabaster whirlpool."

She lashed back out in fury... and it sliced it cleanly in half.. don't want to be near her in a tantrum!

Your FP following is growing! Almost to 200 reviews! Congrats!

And get that next chapter out fast! The wait's going to kill me soon! :D

-MathNerd3141

Can't wait to see what Capron says about her magic

Awesome! Capron finally knows! Im pretty sure the next chapter will be pretty epic for him! Cant stop smiling :D Hope you update soon! :)

this story is amazing! i simply love it so much! spent a good later part of my day reading this instead of doing homework hehe.

glad ardis finally revealed her magic to capron and is actually using it! like legitly using it lol. i just hope capron won't react too badly to it. but he should've suspected something like this from her considering he's so smart and all and how strange she acts sometimes.

really can't wait for the next chapter! please continue your wonderful work~~

I usually wait to review at the end of your chapter, but I just had to stop reading for a moment and say what is on my mind:

Your writing has gotten better from when you first began, which was good to begin with. You portray the emotions well in this chapter, which her wanting to save her life, save Capron, and wonder what it was she should be doing and how sha can help him. Her courage and her growth as an individual is apparent here, as well as her empathy and her love of sorts for Capron, as is his. You have done well to characterize them and also to describe the situation well. Your sentences are succinct and yet portray an entirely different world from ours well enough that I can appreciate the atmosphere and the landscape. All-in-all, a wonderfully written chapter, Your story is becoming more convoluted, not just with the plot but with the emotions, I feel myself attached to these characters well enough that I feel a part of their life and want the best for them. I am cheering them on in my head and yet yelling at them to run away from the monsters. Well written InkedGirl, well written.

The creatures were scorpions?

Okay, I was wondering... Was he really glaring at her because he was upset that she woke him, or was there something more? Like, say, he woke and found that the chains had been melted? Maybe he had figured it out then and was prepared to give her an ear full? Please update soon, I am drowning myself with curiosity! Litierally, I'm dying from lack of knowledge! Save me!

Gahh! ( runs around pulling on her hair) She did it! He saw it! The world will end! Not really... But omg! And, if you really think about it, everything is magic until you find the logic behind it. If you took a Roman solider from back in the day and plopped him in America now, chances are that he will think that we all are wizards and witches. That would be sad for him! I mean, wireless technology still amazes my parents, and you should see my grandma. She dies not understand it at all! Hehe, yeah, good ol' 21st century, here we go!

;

That word in English would explain my excitement...It can't be properly conveyed.x) The beginning was a bit confusing, but I guess that would be the fault of fictionpress. Stupid glitches.-_- However, I could still fill in the blanks, and yes, this chapter was plenty intense enough. HER MAGIC IS REVEALED! :D And you're totally right, the next one will be EVEN BETTER, cuz now Capron knowwwwws. :D

So excited. You don't even know.

Okar, so the creatures kind of sound like the giant scorpions from the movie, "Clash of the Titans" ( i luv that movie) I really enjoy this story! Please update soon!

P.S I just had an idea! What if Capron, since he found out about her magic, begins to distrust her, and he starts to hate her, just like she feared. BUT then she gets in a life threatening situation, and he figures out he is acctually in love with her! Its just an idea, but i think it would be cute, Capron could be her knight in shining armor!

Whoa! A desert creature attacks! Awesome! Very exciting and intense. And I loved how you wrote the descriptions: the sharp claws, the dripping pinchers, the curved tail - very nice... I have a clear image of what this thing is. And somehow, that image is of a scorpion-like thing.

But what about Ardis using her magic? I'm gasping in shock right now. I think I might have one of my all-caps typing bursts (something that always occurs where I am excited and completely shocked and have no other means of expressing my emotions than creating a distracting line of text to the reader). I'm wondering about how Capron will react to her magic in the next chapter. Will he lash out at her? Will he be surprised? Will there be this whole dramatic scene between the two? And what about Ardis? The scorpion-creature-scary-thing was able to get its barb into her arm. Will she be poisoned. Will she thus fall unconscious from the poison forcing Capron to help her and put aside some of his hatred against all magicians?

YOU NEED TO UPDATE SOON!

(There you go... one of my all-caps bursts)

Oh wait... even if you update soon, I won't be able to read any updates until June due to my May disappearance from FictionPress...

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..

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Why did you have to end in such a cliffhanger? Now, I'll spend the entire month of May completely preoccupied with what will happen next...

But really, this chapter was very nice (as shown by my excited state). I really enjoyed it and you definitely got me interested into the next chapter. And the cliffhanger definitely hooked me in for the next chapter. I love this story and I'm always very happy to see an alert about a new chapter. This story manages to make me excited each and every time I read a new chapter.

Thanks for the brilliant read!

Signing off...