i can totally empathise with Ardis! i also have frequent mood swings and i am very spontaneous! i think so far, i liked this chapter better than the rest! btw, i love Nixon!

hey!u have NO idea how hopelessly i searched for your story!i read a few chapters and did not leave a review, and i completely forgot your story's name and your pen name!AND FINALLY i found u! LOL! btw..great story so far! :D

Great chapter.

The words you used for your descriptions of events were marvelous. I could feel my heart racing and my mind reading the words with a fervor when the chapter reached the intense and nervous scene. And when everything calmed down, my reading naturally slowed down. That's just pretty amazing.

I further liked the personal reflections you did. Ardis is a character that is slowly developing, and I really enjoy that. She's also a really interesting character, and I can't wait to read more of her.

Thanks for the great read!

Signing off...

Callana: I want to trust her, but I don't.

She knows about Capron, she's fine with magic. Perhaps she is Ardis' relative, maybe her mother's sister or something. But I still don't understand who/what she is. I feel likeshe may have some affiliation with magic: perhaps she did not use her own magic so that Ardis would not know about any magical abilities, but even then I'm not sure. Either way, you need to update soon!

This one of my favorite chapters because of all the magic!

Nice chapter, and I'm glad you had a chance to update. I'm looking forward for the next chapter!

Nice past few chapters. Your descriptions are just brilliant. I would have liked a better exploration of the senses in describing some events, but I guess I'm not one to talk since I can't do descriptions as well as you do. And also, I'm sure by now this isn't much of a problem with you, since you're what? Twenty-three chapters in while I'm only on the third one?

I really like how your plot moves along, and every little connection you make to history is just brilliant. It makes the world so much more comprehensive and interrelated, which makes it more realistic.

Thanks for the great read!

Signing off...

This is a great prologue. It covers a lot of ground and gives a good idea about the history of the country and the curse that plagues it. And it's also pretty interesting. As I read each and every word, I could feel my interest expanding and growing. From the very beginning, the story sucked me in with the brilliant and imaginative plot.

As for any critique, I became slightly confused at the end when you had Torin saying that Torin was the killer. However, later on, the confusion was clarified when it was revealed that Torin blamed his older brother, Capron, for it calling Capron "Torin" and doing a switch. It just made the read not flow as much, however.

Anyways, once again, I'm really invested in this story. I can't wait to continue it and catch up to what you have... however, as an early alert, at the moment, I'm slightly busy with several other priorities, so I'll review as soon as I can!

Thanks for the great read!

Signing off...

Lovely chapter, as always and I like how Imara's inner workings are explored a bit in this chap

Is it me or does Ardis get knocked out a lot? The poor girl is going to have soooo much head trauma after this. Good story, I like the follow of your writing, and the world you have created is completely unique. Good job, and keep up the good work.

When I see the word "taxes" I go straight to Texas :3 but I guess that this is just me! A mysterious starting, leaving one lost, makes me want to know what is going on. You can count me in on this joyride of a story.

She updated! Yay! And They got captured! Yay- wait, no... This is bad, with a capital B! I guess you could say things were rushed, but I didn't think about it until you mentioned it. *shrug* to me, it was going fast because it was so suspenseful! _ man, you had me wincing and cringing with the lOt of them! And an arrow splitting in two? If they get out of this alive I have the feeling that Nix is not going to let it go. Gah! He is going to find out! It was so sweet that they were looking out for eachother withOut even realizing it:) Croft deserved to be knocked out, just saying. But I guess we also hav to giv him credit for not turning our youg magician in, because he could have! But that would have eliminated a good chance at their escape. And who is the voice? I believe Ardis can get them out of this...somehow... Ehee! Things are picking up!

Hmmmmm...well, in some ways it *is* rushed, but not to the extent of not being able to capture proper emotionality and action. The end might have been the rushed part, I feel. The man is obviously suspicious and I feel he would have asked more questions or tried more tactics to get whatever truth he wants out of them. Others would have to do someting as well, besides the two or three guards. So in a way, that much was rushed. However, if you had extended the scene more, it might have been too drawn out, and thereby, unenjoyable or confusing.

One thing that I was confused about and it may be due more to my lack of comprehension/reading than to your writing skills, but I thought the man was from the Belgrava, but I guess he's not. Anf the idea that Capron knows that the name is Gaveston-surprising and intriguing. HOw does he know? Did he overhear people speaking or something? It's just the end, where he so quickly dismissed them in a way and was more interested in sending them to the wolves. While I understand he's evil and whatnot I sill think he would have tried to get more out of them. But the beginning of the chpater it so mysterious. It makes me wonder if it's her mother speaking to her from the grave through magic or if it's that wise old lady who gave her the necklace i think. It must be something because it's coming from within her mind and I don't think it's her subconscious, although it may be. Oh and also, Gaveston admitted to Ardis her logic was right but that it was worth a try: i feel like a man of that staus and power and evilness would ot admit to a little girl or servantgirl that she is right and that he was only bluffing in a way. that seems out of character for someone like him. however i do like that capron does not want to see ardis hurt and its interesting how you added the idea that ardis did not want to see caprson hurt weither but you *showed* us rather than necessarily outright telling us. one thing i would have added was more emotion andpain: go beyond what you said about tha heat searing through her collarbone and smelling burnt flesh. having a hot arrow go through your skin is i am sure a harrowing experience. i would imaginae the pain to be imaginable. i have bruned myself on an iron and cried ofr goodness knows how long. i cant imagine the horrible horrible excruciating pain arids felt with that hot arrow. cso maybe that part was unrealistic to me. burns are ridiculously excruciating experiences and should be presented as such. however, overall, wonderful chpater as always and it just needs some tweaking, but hey, all of us have writing that needs tweaking. so, keep writng and posting this wonderful story. i look forward to reading each chapter and get reallly excited whwenever i see a new chapter in my inbox. my only conniption is that you dont post often enough.

:D loved it! Your good at cliffhangers! So bravo to you :)

Another great chapter! Update soon!