Nooo! A cliffhanger! Im liking how tense its getting:) Hope you get thee next chapter up soon!

Oh no! What happened to her?

I'm always so disappointed when the chapter ends-maybe you should post TWO chaps at once instead of one ;p

I like the idea of Felix using 'moons' as a sort of exclamation word-makes me wonder if they worship or honor moons or if the moon will play a role in the future.

Nice chapter-Again, I was disappointed when it ended-I always look forward to each chapter you post, even if they're short ones :P

O.O That...was...AWESOME! Cant wait for the next chapter!

That is one helluva rose. Rather interesting description-you seem to be good at those :)

Characterization you're also good at-the only one I don't feel as much is Imara at this point but I'm sure she will be fleshed out a bit more :)

I wonder if the rose is a way to steal someone's magic? but then i wonder if the rose could do that, why would he want her as queen to use her?

hmmmm

But still, great chapter as always-I look forward to reading more! You should post maybe TWO (or more) chapters a day! I love getting the little story alert that says white magic when I'm in lab or something :)

Goooooooooooodnesssss this is soooo gooodddddd!

Very good. I look forward to reading the rest. (sorry I don't really know what to put here)

I dont read k and I'm the writers bro

Oh my lurd! Update soon!

Awesome story! Update soon!

Loved it! I live for new chapters:) Ok, not literally, but I still like it:)Also, thank you for dedicating it to me!:D I got soooo happy! Cant wait for the next chapter:)

Oooo, the plot is getting thicker by the chpater. Love it!

I must say, your characterization skills are quite good. Each character has a distinct personality and thier own flavor that is easily understood through the scenes. You are rather adept at showing not telling, something that is not always easily done.

Your story has a good balance of a good plot and good characters, also not something that is easily done.

Just a few things with this chapter, in terms of sentence structure. There were a few times I had to re-read a sentence to understand it (but it may be because my eyes are tired lol, but I'm sure you will find it when you edit, since this is a (wonderful) first draft. One other thing: with the waterproof bag, you said her mother was a quick thinker-i'm not sure ;quick' is the right word, perhaps maybe deep, or logical, or good or something liek that bc i dont thikn speed important here unless you are referring to the speed at which she got everything together for AArdis way back when...

:) Hope you update tomorrow! Stupid cliffhanger:P now I have to wait! Lol good job with it though:)

Wow, truly a great story :)

I clicked on this story because your blurb stood out on the page. There were no glaring errors, and an enticing hook.

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First, a quick note on your blurb. Consider the following edit:

"A servant girl who keeps her magic under lock and key joins forces with an exiled and cursed prince to end the tyrannical rule of his twin. R&R please!"

You should get a lot more views after this change.

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Needs a great deal of tightening in the prose\dialog to make it flow better. Try to eliminate commas and say more with fewer words. Compare this example:

"Her husband, on the other hand, tall and imposing, warily watched the small statured scribe in stoic clam as he leaned back in his padded chair, arms loose and at ease."

-"In contrast, her husband rested his massive frame in his chair with ease and fixed the little scribe with a wary, wordless stare."

Notes on this change: The first thing to do was reduce the number of clauses/words in the sentence. The word choice of "massive" eliminates the need for tall and imposing. It becomes implied. Consider it your job to give the reader what she needs for her imagination to fill in the gaps.

Next, I reduced small-statured to "little" to reduce the word count some. Also, I removed stoic clam, but since you wanted to show how he wasn't speaking, I inserted "wordless" later.

I eliminated the descriptor "padded" because it's not strictly necessary. Since you're using the sentence primarily to describe the husband, not the chair, it causes the sentence to lose focus.

Finally, I made a point to find a way to replace "warily" with "wary". Adverbs and adjectives ending in "ly" are out of vogue in a serious way, because they tend to become crutches. Avoid them as much as possible, within reason. Doing so will generally make a sentence better. Consider:

"She clasped her hand tightly with the eldest of her young girls"

- "She kept a tight grip on her eldest daughter."