Enjoyed the story as a whole, some murkeyness in the last three chapters, seemed to be some name switching, it could have been me mis reading.

Yipes! Nice cliff hanger ending, there. :D

I'm really enjoying this story! And I can definitely see the Princess Bride influence, which is awesome. I love that movie and quite liked the book. You do a good job at writing in that same lighthearted, almost-serious-yet-not-quite-taking-itself-serious type style. Its very fun to read. :) I love the Impoverished-and-Undernourished-Gentleman's-Group-of-Purposelessness-and-Inactivity. That name is utter awesome. And the part about a member hanging up the "Top Secret Awesome Headquarters here!" and "Loyalist-free Roam Zone" made me laugh heartily. _ I also enjoyed the part with Charlie meeting Laurence quite allot.

There are slight grammar/spelling errors here and there, and some sentences every once in a while that don't quite make sense, but those are easily fixed with some slight revision, if you feel like it, of course. XD :D

Also, there are some moments that feel a little lacking in detail, such as the part about Charlie and Sunny getting to know each other; I understand you probably didn't want to go into huge detail, cause that would take a while and all, but I think adding just a touch more would help the relationship between them feel more like the reader is seeing it happen rather than just being told about it. :)

I really like this story, your doing a great job with it, and can't wait for more! :D

I liked the story. The idea is good and the turn of phrase is excellant. I love that it's almost like reading a children's fairytale. I have only one critisism; the story doesn't have much detail. In some ways, this is good, if you're trying to write children's fairytale. But I found it a bit disorganized, jumping from one topic to another without explaining the previous topic. Howe, I'm begging to not stop writing it. It's an interesting story and I look forward to reading more, especially about Princess Ellen. Good Luck!

Very interesting, cool idea! Cant wait for chapter 8! im wondering- what will happen to charlie? what about Natalia and Sunny?

I cant wait to find out what will happen in the rest of the story...

Wow, this is so good! It is so interesting and i cant wait to read chapter 2!

You have a lovely writing style! It makes it very easy to read. Fantastic, please continue.

the disgraceful proceedings between princess and noble. & If word got to the King about this, then he would be very angry at her for opposing his will. ~~So what was disgraceful about the interaction between the princess and the noble? And how can Ellen's action oppose the King's will? She did not insist that the noble's plea be heard then, or stop him from approaching the King during working hours. She did not insist that the Royal Guard do their jobs and protect the man's family and the King's Peace. The only way Ellen's actions could be scandalous is if the ring was not hers, if the ring, in fact, was a royal heirloom or borrowed from the queen or from a lady in waiting, or if it had been given to her by a suitor, or as a token of her novitiate. There isn't enough reason here to justify the use of the terms 'scandalous' or 'opposing the King's will'. ((Also, is she really wearing a ring AND gloves? So how does she get the ring off her finger?))

Further along: Ascent/assent ~~not sure which one you mean here. If you mean 'agree', it's assent.

'It would be a horror if Meredith wasn't properly trained for the job. Such a tremendous responsibility...' ~~So training for the job of Queen involves getting people to do your work for you? Really? Ellen seems too intelligent to agree to this, so why does she?

Nuns may marry?

really

This is really good! I love your writing style, it's very unique. Update soon! :)

Having once written a story using identical twin princesses of my own, I happen to like how this one was done. It's incredibly interesting and the characters are so well developed. A combination of your summary and the idea that you return reviews drew me to this story, and I can't wait to read more.

Lovely. Please continue coz that will be the sole reason I will be coming back on fictionpress as I am usually roaming around on fanfiction.

OHAW