|Reviews for Reciprocity|
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 1/12/2012
I loved how you started this at what would've been the climax of the story. So many fantasies start out slow, but you jumped right into the very entertaining action.
I actually liked the ending a lot. The change in mood threw me at first, but when I saw how it all came together I was left feeling optimistic. :P
Good job and good luck in WCC!
| Dragon made me do it chapter 1 . 1/10/2012
What I liked about this story was the multiple layers to it. The literary references, the battle of good versus evil, the scientific explanation given by people for the supernatural events witnessed.
I liked the brave new world reference, I think you matched the irony it was originally intended in quite well here.
"You father released him!"- 'you' should be 'your'
'many of new souls' - take out 'of'
I was a bit confused about the ending. You have a quote suggesting Oberon was asking Miranda to forgive him and let things go, if he offered the same for her, but I didn't see any evidence leading up to this conclusion. It might help to flesh this out a little.
Nice story, well done.
| empty as a cedar chapter 1 . 1/4/2012
I really enjoyed this!
I have to admit, though, it was somewhat difficult to get into. the beginning is very expo heavy, especially '"Dread Prospero bound Ariel to his line for one thousand years when he freed him from the pine tree Sycorax bound him in. Ariel still has five hundred thirty seven years left as my loyal servant."' That doesn't say anything that Oberon wouldn't actually know and it doesn't actually explain what Oberon meant by "Your father released him!" I think if you explained what actually happened with after Prospero released him and how Miranda got him back you wouldn't have to go into the dry recitation of facts that's there now.
I think it's pretty clever how you hint at Shakespeare's role as chronicler, and I think the quotes are especially fitting for the story's more modern setting.
At first I was kind of turned off by the obvious dark/light dichotomy, but as the story went on, especially the ending, it became clear that wasn't really the case. I suppose you were trying to subvert the notion, and it works very well, but I will admit my personal tastes almost made me stop reading because of it.
It was a fun little homage that I enjoyed quite a bit. Thank you!