Reviews for The Ten Rings
Guest chapter 1 . 11/30/2012
Your story is good. But you use Max way too much, try and edit the story and replace it with something else
Do Play With Fire chapter 5 . 3/10/2012
Very interesting story, but a little more character development could be useful, even though it can be hard to add. Proofreading would also be good, and how old is Max.
athos-aramis chapter 2 . 2/16/2012
A nice flow to this one. Very good dialogue. Same suggestion as the last chapter plus maybe add in a little more description of the world around Max? I have my idea of what it looks like, but its largely based on assumption. Just a thought!
athos-aramis chapter 1 . 2/16/2012
I like the idea of the story but you say Max a lot! One suggestion would be to maybe go back and edit some of that with "he" instead. It would make it easier to read! Well, off to chapter 2 :)
graphiteXVII chapter 1 . 1/9/2012
the voice of the story is too wavy because of too much comma phrases. however, the story is good.
Sukiam6 chapter 1 . 1/8/2012
Writing Style Report by Sukiam6 for The Ten Rings

Word Variation Score: 43/100

Most overused words: had, it/there, was/were

Cliché phrases: “in the dark”, “the thing”

Return a review and I’ll do a report on your next piece of writing.

“Most important are the words that make the story.”