|Reviews for The Wild Ones|
| deadkitty1 chapter 2 . 1/10/2012
The first chapter really pulled me in with Elle's heartbreak. And now after reading how they met, I'm sort of hesitant to support Storm knowing how the ending will happen. Both chapters are beautifully written! Though, I'm a bit disappointed with Marissa's character. For being a long time friend, she drugs up Elle and leaves her side to indulge on her own party. What kind of selfish friend does that? Especially since Elle has never been at that place and I'm sure she would have appreciated Marissa's company. It would have made more sense for them to get the feel of things at the club and start partying together. Then Elle would fall for Marissa's suggestion at taking the drug more easily after a few drinks and maybe Elle would wander off somewhere to get into a bout with some random guy. It just leads me to believe that Marissa's not that good of a friend as the story says she is.
| Nelsonstudenthigh09 chapter 2 . 1/10/2012
awe that is such a cute and good chapter haha i really want to read more please update :) thank you
| Paige chapter 1 . 1/10/2012
Love the story so far, can't wait for your next update :) really well written! xx
| Daddy's Little Peach chapter 1 . 1/9/2012
I really like this so far! You've got good grammar and your writing isn't stilted, which is always a good start, and the emotions are conveyed really well.
A couple of things I noticed:
1. ' Those big blue eyes filled with adoration every time he looked at me were cold and uncaring. Where had my kind Storm gone?' ... Those big blue eyes THAT HAD ONCE filled with adoration every time he looked at were NOW cold and uncaring. Where had my Storm gone? - you're comparing then and now, and I found the way you worded it a bit awkward. Also, the 'kind' is redundant, given that we know her Storm would have been nicer than the one portrayed here.
2. When she talks about having left the window open, you've described her dialogue as 'muttering' - when I see that word, I always imagine someone saying something under their breath. I would think that 'pleading' would be a better verb to use, especially since you note the desperation in her words.
3. 'He continued to give me that hallow stare' - 'hollow' maybe?
I hope you don't take this negatively, because I mean it constructively. I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of this :)
| conti siegel chapter 1 . 1/9/2012
update soon! Its good!
but try to make chapters it makes it easier to read
| Nelsonstudenthigh09 chapter 1 . 1/9/2012
This is such a good story and you only started :) please continue its very intriguing :) I love it I really want to know what happens :)
| mellyn chapter 1 . 1/9/2012
Really liked this Prologue; however, please break it up into more paragraphs! It is so hard to read in this format.