|Reviews for The Adventures of Duck: The Pirate War|
| Era of Insanity chapter 4 . 8/13/2012
You know, changing your name really throws me off my unicorn, and you know if I ever made a character you know exactly how they would be so, I'm not going to make one. Oh I wrote in my latest chapter on fanfiction introducing your character phanta
| AJtaco chapter 1 . 8/3/2012
Sarah you are an amazing friend, artist, ect. And now you have added author to your long list. What will be next? Just to let you know don't forget to add my character and decate the wierd little girl to me! Hahahaha I am freaky in sooooo many ways! Anyway can't wait till I read your next book!
| Morgan WK chapter 1 . 5/12/2012
Wow! I really like this. Great introduction. I like the action, the well meaning antihero, It all fits perfectly, and the pacing is consistent. Although the pacing is consistent, it feels a tiny bit rushed, I feel that this could be reasonably spread over two chapters of the same length as this one. Other than that, the only few things I'd change would have to do with minor spelling issues. I have definitely subscribed to this, and you. I hope you're updating it, right?
| True Talker chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
Okay, if I have to do this for you then there is NO WAY that I am ever going to catch up. You are a great writer and you really know how to make certain that people are doing what they had said they would.
My grammar may not always be perfect sometimes I switch wording around when something doesn't make sense to me.
I was going through the "Just In" stories and whatever I thought was brought to my attention I then decided to read. I won't catch up to you, there is no way that I can unless you give me a giant stack and leave me alone for days to look at it. Otherwise I won't ever be able to catch up with that beautiful story making mind of yours. Seriously.
Your Bio - Okay, you probably did that so that I would read it. The reason why I usually don't read anything placed like that is because my eyes jump all over and I lose where I am reading. You did make me laugh because I wasn't able to see that #41 was missing and I probably wouldn't have noticed #52 either. Hence the clumped together factor makes it more difficult to keep track of where one is reading.
Also, I would LOVE to learn different languages and btw my French is rusty I am unable to talk fluently and although I can read normal, I only pick up a word here or there. Based solely from memory. I could also let you know that I have am technically of also other Nationalities based on my parents. I refer myself to a "Mixed Breed". I was also born here, well the other city.
I find Greek mythology rather interesting however I have not read the book nor have I ever heard of it. You have to keep in mind that I didn't really grow up with anyone that knew anything about books really. I would go to the library, used book stores and the college when they would give books away for free. I also prior had been an avid shopper at Chapters book store. I haven't been for the last few years as I continue to owe money for the books that I needed to get for my education. (Expensive however not as expensive as the business school referred to as Ivey here at the University - I had a temp. job at the University book store - I couldn't believe how much the professors were charging for the printed lectures. I thought that it was ridiculous, an example; $450 and it wasn't even that big of a binder.)
Critique; First paragraph second last line (if by chance what I write doesn't make any sense blame the scribble on my not pad, I may have not taken proper notes on critiqueing). The word; "condemn" you have - "condem".
Also, sentence structure; "condemn me because they would see me as guilty."
Second paragraph, second line - "could respond" you have - "could repspond."
Second paragraph, second line - "grandeur" you have - "grandour". (Yes, I had to look in the dictionary on that one it didn't look right to me however I was not certain.
Second paragraph, last line - Sentence structure (aka grammar) "with shackles on my wrists and ankles, the chains made it difficult for me to walk".
Third paragraph, second line - "Step forward" you have - "Stepforwards" - now I don't know if you want to show that he is iliterate or if you did that to see what I would do. Yes, realize that one time my mother was reading a book (yes, apparently she is doing a lot of reading now - actually she always has but it has been about religion, she is finally branching off into other things) and it had a part in the book where someone wasn't talking properly due to lack of education/knowledge and the like and I couldn't handle it, I just wanted to make correction. That doesn't mean that I am making fun at person's expense that just means that if something is wrong and I have the proper knowledge "IF" then I want to correct it.
Third paragraph, first line - "guard's advice" - you have "guards advice" belonging to "'s".
Fourth paragraph, third line - "soldier" you have - "soiler".
Fourth paragraph, last line - If it is the same thought and someone is speaking, you use quotation marks at the start and at the end of the sentence/quote. "Three..." No, quotation cut off. It has to be a complete thought.
Further down as I didn't take not as of where; "The kitten... (I personally wasn't certain if "spat on" or "spit on" would be better. I told you I am not an expert and sometimes I completely switch things so that they make sense to me.
Fifth paragraph, third line - "soldier" you have - "soilder".
Fifth paragraph, I don't know which line I think it is after the above line - "kind of" technically it should be "basically" or something of that nature. Yes, I know that I have used this myself prior wrong however "kind" is kind to people not used in the way that you have. Unless again showing lack of knowledge in his description.
Paragraph 5/6 there should be a space in between them.
Sixth paragraph, first sentence - I am uncertain if it should actually be; "Over the years..." or "Through the years..."
Sixth paragraph, last line - "her along with me towards the harbor" - sentence structure.
"dingy" is pronounced "din-gee" dirty.
So maybe use the word canoe? Wherever "dingy" use the word canoe? Or something else that you think of.
This one I am uncertain; "Anyway mate,... " quotation marks when speaking as to quote them. Also, when it is a description the a "," - witness, "I explained..."
"Happy yes", Fishtale said. (Finish the though/explanation which is in the same sentence structure.
Lenny cabbin boy and Swanna is my sister. (Together for you are explaining them together.)
Okay, I wasn't perfect at doing this however - I took whatever notes that I could on my small/tiny note pad and I did the best that I could think of at the time. I had told you that I am not an expert at this. (No, I am not meaning anything offensively at all what so ever.)
Again, I LOVE YOUR MIND. You definately blow my mind away...
| Whitefire19 chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
Much better. The part with the crowd made the hanging more believable and it made the escape even more daring and dramatic. But did duck have a sack over her head? If she didn't, then they saw her. How did she "calmly walk away" if they watched her excape?