|Reviews for The Businesswoman and a 'Modern' Peasant|
| CrazyLittleGermanMiss chapter 1 . 6/18/2012
aww cute... I decided to go ahead and read some of your stuff I haven't read yet.
| Shelby Jacobs chapter 1 . 2/13/2012
Excellent story,loved it. I wouldn't change a thing.
| l.m.standing chapter 1 . 1/25/2012
My honest critique: Before I finished reading the story, I was hoping that the frame story device was solely an excuse to mention the year 2068, and that that would be pretty awesome, but it was not to be.
But that's probably not so important.
One thing that they say is the case for people who go through writer's workshops is that when you submit a story, the parts that will seem most contrived are those from real life. Probably because you would think about them because of your background, but you wouldn't if you were making something up. I mention this because of your screen name, Technopeasant, although I suppose that may just be a screen name. The farmer/programmer angle is pretty weird. I guess if you were trying to be weird, go all out! But I don't think this is really a "weird" story, more of a "normal people and events are interesting too" story and would probably be better served by being longer and fleshing out the characters more. One thing you could also amplify is the sensory description of the countryside, which would help explain your protagonist a bit better. I would recommend "The Willows" by Algernon Blackwood if you want to check out some good sensory description of landscapes. (It's out there on the Internet last I checked).
Hope this helps!