|Reviews for Sanctum|
| Neuravinci chapter 7 . 2/5/2012
I found a black/gray bird feather on my stairs the other day...guess what story I thought of? :P
Nice chapter...a bit short but with enough information to make it worthwhile.
| Emmeline C. Thornbrooke chapter 1 . 2/5/2012
Just found this story, and I like what I'm reading. Keep writing!
| Neuravinci chapter 6 . 1/21/2012
I'm so curious as to how lowell got caught...
| Neuravinci chapter 5 . 1/21/2012
You are describing the conception and the horrendous birth of his darkness so well-the power of the brutality inside him, the inner beast, is nearly creating fogs of smoke around him, rolling off his sinful flesh in thick clouds. The darkness is lovly in this story, esp in contrast with the girl's white feathers-blackness vs whiteness, evil vs purity. human nature vs human nature.
| Neuravinci chapter 4 . 1/21/2012
Do you draw from Buddhistic cosmology in your story? Or from Chinese/Japanese? Whatever you draw fro, the story is quite creative. The beginning sentences lend that otherworld feel to this story-it tells of faroff places that may/may not play a later part in the story, but either way, the reader knows of the vastness of the universe you hace vreated without you explicitly stating nicely done.
And I love the pun: "we'll just have to WING it"! haha
Interesting that bloodlust in a sense has been created in the protagonist-it wasnt as apparent initially, but after being with this Hal, it has been created/revived. I wonder more and more what/who this Hal is...
And I love the descriptive power/force of the last sentence.
| Neuravinci chapter 3 . 1/16/2012
I wonder if the feather is connected to the unattainable city or even to his mother.
Further-I hope this man will take him in and train Nate which would be wonderful! I want him to have a happy life :)
| Neuravinci chapter 2 . 1/16/2012
The beginning of this chapter reminds me of Europeans and Native Americans-how there was hatred and mis understanding and the physical differences that people used to set each other apart and create an us-them dichotomy.
This is such an interesting element to the story bc it can be used to strengthen Nate's character and willpower-when people hate simepl bc you are different, it will wither break you or strengthen you to heights unimaginable.
What's also good is that a reader can easily empathize with Nathan. This is perfect when writing bc you need a reader to be engaged with the character, not just the ploy. It's something I have trouble with so I admire the fact that you do it so well in this story :)
I also find it interesting that I can easily commiserate with a teenaged boy so easily, since so many characters are females lately. This is a nice change from the fantasy scenery bc not only is it a male character, but he is not aggressive or harsh or "manly-mann-ish" which is a nice change-he seems more human and more able to be connected with. I look forward to seeing more of his growth throughout the story, esp if the story continues on long enough that I see him grow up to be a grown man. I just wonder though what the isolation from youth would have done to him, considering he only had his mother and some playmates like Tondra (which is a pretty name btw).
One thing: where do you get your names from? They seem rather Indonesian to me but im not sure?
| Neuravinci chapter 1 . 1/16/2012
Interesting that they lived like nomads, well, wanted to, but yet the mother smokes cigarettes and lived in a cabin. Perhaps my view of nomads are skewed though lol I'm thinking more of Bedouins.
but interesting beginning-makes on wonder if the mother will come back as sometihng else.
I wonder if she would come back as another person-perhaps Tondra?
And I think there can be a strong underlying plot with Nate's anxiety or guilt at not saving his mother.
| Do Play With Fire chapter 3 . 1/16/2012
Good beginning, but what is the importance of the feather?