|Reviews for The Gamepiece Chronicles|
| Archia chapter 20 . 9/4/2013
Okay, so this chapter is the same one as chapter 19. I don't know if you put this one in by mistake in replace of what should be here or double posted or whatever, but I'm going to wait before I read the next chapter, because I don't want to keep reading if I'm missing something.
| Archia chapter 19 . 8/17/2013
Ah it's nice to come back to three chapters.
As I said about the last chapter I enjoyed how the focus has shifted from Jonathon. It's really nice to get to know more about the other characters, and it gives a lot more insight into them.
It looks like more and more the tensions of being there are rising and I'm wondering if they are going to do something. And I guess I'll just have to read on and see.
| Archia chapter 18 . 6/29/2013
Oh is she going to do something? This is interesting now, I want to see if she is going to do something, if this is going to develop and they're going to somehow get their chance at freedom, or death. Or if nothing's going to happen. Either way, I'm intrigued.
Up until this point, I've realised, a lot of the focus has been on Jonathon, so I liked how this chapter focussed on Dayn. Just this one chapter, developed her character a lot more.
Well I've finally caught up, it was quite nice actually, being able to just read four chapters like that. But anyway, next chapter, I'm going to be on top of it (well actually, I won't if it's in the next month because I'm going away), but unless you get a spur of writing and write another four chapters in a month, then I won't let it build up that much).
| Archia chapter 17 . 6/25/2013
Oh it's not all his fault. At least that's what I would say if I were there. I feel sorry for him, I feel sorry for them all actually.
Just one question, how long have they been in this place? Keeping track of time is one thing I've never been able to do whilst reading anything, so it could be ten days or ten years in my mind right now.
I think I'm still getting over the fact that Adelaide's dead, I really liked her, and the thought of that just makes me feel more sorry for them.
I liked in this chapter how it didn't spend ages talking about their first day of training. I imagine it could be possible to drag it out, to describe more about everything they did and what happened, but it described just enough. Not too much so that it got boring, but enough so that it explained what was happening. Actually, that's something that you've done well throughout the whole thing, having the right balance.
| Archia chapter 16 . 6/21/2013
I liked her, I liked Adelaide. This was a sad chapter, and I'd say the one which has the most emotion in it so far. I really liked that, it was really nice to have that sadness, it almost made me cry. I loved that moment between Flynn and Amethyst. It's just so sad.
I don't think I can say more than that.
| Archia chapter 15 . 6/21/2013
I'm sorry how bad I've been with reading this, I didn't realise how long it's been.
Dead? She's dead? Oh.
This was certainly the chapter for surprises, what with Kodar's death and the military group. I actually really liked how they were both in the same chapter, because when I was reading it I was concentrating all on the military group and so Kodar's death was a very big shock.
Very exciting, very interesting and I can't say more because I've got to go read the next chapter.
| The Shadow's Bane chapter 15 . 4/23/2013
...Jeez, I'm blown. Awesome chapter!
| Archia chapter 14 . 3/22/2013
So now that I'd read chapter 7 again I can read this one. I think the change are interesting, I like them. Anyway, onto reading.
That was tense. Actually it still is tense, that really ended at a good cliff-hanger point. I really enjoyed that big fight scene, it was really intense and eventful; it was very well done. At the beginning though, I felt like it was almost a bit of an anti-climax, but beginning instead of ending. When Slade's followers came it was just like it happened, and there wasn't a big build up of excitement. One thing I was wondering was how did they get alchohol, the place just seems a bit too rigid for them to be able to get alchohol.
Anyway this was an exciting seventh day, during the actual fight it was built up very well and I like how Amethyst helped, she's not so heartless anymore. Oh and I loved how this figure turned up, who I'm guessing is Malyss. That's going to be fun.
| Archia chapter 13 . 2/19/2013
I'm annoyed at myself because I mustn't of taken in the alert properly so it's taken me ages to get this; I'm really sorry for taking so long.
Anyway, I liked all the dialogue in this. Before I read it I was worried that because of all the dialogue it might be a bit hard to follow because there's a few characters but it wasn't at all, and you even pretty much avoided he said she saids. So it was really nice and I enjoyed reading it.
I'm still interested in Adelaide, I want to know what's going to happen to her!
And now I really want to know more what's going to happen on the Seventh Day. I like how right now several options have been brought up on what they can do but none of them have been settled on and it makes me really want to know which option they'll choose, or if something else will come up.
Oh you reached the 15000 word mark, congratulations on that. That's quite a decent bit now and it's reallt progressing well. I can't wait for the next chapter (and this time I'm not going to miss the alert.)
| The Shadow's Bane chapter 13 . 1/4/2013
Hey, nice chapter!
| Archia chapter 12 . 12/20/2012
This chapter really made it feel like a novel, not that it didn't really like a novel before, but this chapter really really did, maybe because it's getting further and further along.
I liked how Adelaide appeared again in this chapter; is she going to die? Actually, it's probably better if you don't answer that, but that's what I'm wondering right now. If she seems in such a bad state, I think it will make for something interesting.
The little fight scene at the end got me confused a little. I couldn't figure out who was speaking at the beginning, it made sense further on but I had to read it a few times. I do like though how Slade was stood up to, I wonder what's going to happen in the next week.
I'm quite pumped for the next chapter, it's progressing so nicely, and certainly getting more interesting.
| The Shadow's Bane chapter 12 . 11/29/2012
I love this story... I really do.
It's fine, I know exactly how you feel about updating...
| Archia chapter 11 . 10/5/2012
Just first, I've never heard of that game you based a bit of the last chapter on. But it sounds fun, I could imagine spending a lot of time playing with that.
Out of every ending and cliffhanger and all that, this was the last line that I've liked the most. It was just so ominous and the way he wants 'it' alive. Not just anything, 'it.'
What I'm liking is how I'm getting the individual voices of the character's in my head. I don't know if there the one's you intended but they still seem so right for the character'. So I'm really liking that.
I was just wondering about something, are there any adult mutants, or is it just teenagers? Because I realised that the only adults mentioned really were the evil people.
On the summary, I quite like that new summary; it's shorter, but it's hooking. It makes me feel like I want to know about these 'adaptions' and the whole world in general. And that's what I get from it and I've know how this world and adaptions.
One question; how far through is this? Is it a quarter through, half through, a one millionath through? Or do you have no idea and just seeing how it goes?
I loved the tension that was created in this chapter, and it really built in the first part and just carried on to the second.
So I'm getting quite excited, I still want to know what happened to Adelaide, but I like how it didn't go right into it. I think it's getting better as more goes along.
| Archia chapter 10 . 9/21/2012
Oh gosh what's happened to Adelaide? I was wondering if she would come back, alive or dead, and she's alive at the moment, just it seems. So I hope you at some point go into what's happened to her, because I think I might otherwise burst from wanting to know.
I have no idea what that game is, absolutely no idea. Not even a small part of it seems familar. But it does seem like quite an interesting game indeed.
I like how this chapter told a bit more about the history, and I liked the way it was done. I think it was a pretty smart way. I feel sorry for these mutants, none of it was there fault, and this seems like such a horrible situation to be in.
I'm excited to read the next chapter.
| Ohm chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
There should have been some sort of tragedy instead of givin himself away in ch1. It would provide material he could think about later in the story