Reviews for Chronicles of the Paladins: Corruption Dies
Miss Hope Wright chapter 6 . 7/22/2016
So I'm guessing that Dai is not as strong as he thinks he is and is going to go through intense training. Well then. Have fun!
Darth Zannacross chapter 5 . 12/27/2015
So, a bit of incite to see how the " purge begun". Sounds like a lot of things that could have potential and shows the Ghouls are not the only enemies, just hope the Vampires are not Twilight Vampires lol.

Well, we will see were things go from here, in time. But till then, good luck with the story, hope your able to check out Zilos, and double hope checking it out can get you to leave a review without screaming in terror lol, till next time happy new year.
Darth Zannacross chapter 4 . 12/25/2015
Dis-functional teammates lead to stumbling in to a place that's likely to be a trap, doh. When you said by the one, did you mean by the way?

Well, elvish admirers are, interesting, Vrilla, seems like she could be fun.

Gregor seemed like a decent fella, till he wounded up being someone hell bent on revenge, doh.

Well, that was tense but it looks like the two paladins were able to use teamwork to save the day, glad that part worked out. Well, nice job showing how bitter people are to Dai's line of work, the best chapter yet I suppose.

Keep it up and till next time.
Darth Zannacross chapter 3 . 12/24/2015
Well, the setting is quite different here then last time, but, I like Trains so its cool lol. So we got a father and daughter combo, we will see how they play out, so far, Vrecho is a interesting enough name lol.

Well, train invasion, reminds me of Resident Evil Zero, I wonder if Ghoul Leeches will invade? Well, the monster attacking is cool enough. Dai's powers are getting cooler to, cool, I wonder how many way's he can transform his fingers? I wonder if he will get in to a contest with Edward Scissors Hands? Well, doubtful, but fun to think about lol.

Tarnished victory, though, I guess she is alive , we will see if this will unfold to something more.
Darth Zannacross chapter 2 . 12/23/2015
So, Gholes are a lot like Hallows from Bleach and Heartless and what not, regurgitated vengeful beings, should lead to some, intense situations. I see those like the Chimera can talk, even more like hallows I see, makes it so its not just a bunch of growls. Well, Dai showed he could fight well, but, not sure what to make of Stephanie yet, she has much possibility to be annoying, it does make me wonder if its a relationship like the Soul Reapers had in Bleach with there Zampatos.

Well, not to bad a debut, we will see where it goes from here.
Darth Zannacross chapter 1 . 12/23/2015
Well, seems like in this world saying " What's a Paladin" is a even more stupid question lol. Well, things are still things that need to be answered, but Dai seems like the stoic type for the moment. Knows how to do his job well. Leene seems ok for now, seems like she has a lot to worry about, Ghouls are a pain.

Well, we will see how things unfold from here.
Kisho chapter 1 . 12/18/2015
Ta-da! Here I am reading and reviewing. Thanks for reading my story!

So let's see. Firstly, I like your paladin, Dai, and his haunted hands. And you have an interesting setting, with these Ghouls laying siege to villages. Plenty to rope us in already and still leave us with lots of interesting questions.

But... why is everything center-aligned? That's not proper formatting and it looks kinda funny. Anyways, your prose is also a little stiff and unnatural. I'd recommend practicing by just reading really good and natural prose, and comparing with your own to see what they're doing that makes yours feel stiff. Imitate the style of really skillful writers and make their nifty prose your own.

Otherwise the piece is really good. We have interesting characters and setting, and a good sense of pacing. It's interesting seeing where things could go from here, with defending the village. c:
Miss Hope Wright chapter 5 . 12/13/2015
I see the Bible reference. I also enjoyed this, very nice.
cmaej chapter 1 . 12/5/2015
"A woman with long red hair and brown eyes ran frantically through a forest. She wore a white blouse, blue pants, and hiking boots."

"A woman ran through through the forest, branches tearing at her white blouse. The darkness was deafening, with twigs and leaves crunching under each frantic step of her hiking boots. A low grabbed her red tresses, bringing her ran into a heart-stopping halt. Her breaths escaped into puffs of fog as she struggled to free herself. Finally breaking free, she continued her dash through the darkness."

See the difference? Granted, it took me a lot longer to write that. Sometimes giving physical description interferes with the story. Everything stops just so you can list the clothes they're wearing, which happened several times in this chapter. But the second paragraph, the action keeps going, gradually feeding you not just the woman's physical appearance, but the mood. "Frantic steps", "heart-stopping", "struggle", etc.

I'm not the best writer, so I'm positive someone could make a much better example than me. It takes practice to set the mood without literally telling the reader what the mood is. It's especially hard when it's time to switch moods (going for horror to comedy after the danger has passed).

Okay, you will never see a review like that from me ever again. It's not necessary to address the same issues in the future. The story has potential, and the writing can only get better with practice, so I hope you stay at it.

Dat angry bird weapon, thought. lol
Kouhai Raven-ya chapter 3 . 11/11/2015
I really like this! the character interactions, and dialogue are really good! its all very natural, and love the way you are so descriptive! and Dai talking to his hands, lol. I love how everyone thinks he's crazy! Good job, and best of luck in your writing!
The G33K chapter 3 . 11/8/2015
It's great to see you writing again, and awesome flashback with Dai and younger Stephanie. Hopefully you'll update me looking forward to see how everything pans out.
Guest chapter 2 . 10/2/2015
Reminds me a little of -Man. Cool plotline, although there are some grammar issues. Overall, I would keep reading this. -LadyTriplet
alltheeagles chapter 1 . 8/3/2015
RG Depth

Opening
It’s exciting, grabs my attention and motivates me to read on, so it ticks all the right boxes. I’m not a fan of the screenplay-style note on the setting though – I think it’s unnecessary since you already have the word ‘forest’ in the description.
Technique
I think you successfully avoided the info-dump syndrome in the explanation of ghouls and chimeras by having it as part of Dai’s dialogue. A minor side-effect of this is to make Dai seem rather pedantic but that’s not a huge problem.
Character
There are a few characters introduced, but I’ll just focus on the main one. Dai, as I mentioned, comes across as a little too fond of the sound of his own voice, but apart from that he’s quite engaging. The little quirk of talking to his hands makes him stand out. Him arguing with the girl at the end seemed not to match the earlier mature persona that he displayed, but well, I guess that makes him even more unique.
Setting
With the ghouls and the forest and the village hall and the old-style weapons, my impression is that this story takes place in a pre-industrial medieval-ish country, but other aspects don’t match up, like the style of speech and their clothes. In fact, I’m getting a strong video-game vibe from this, but then the genre is manga so I guess it all fits after all.
Closing
There is both closure (the monsters are defeated) and continuation (the main cast are fully assembled, or so I assume) here. I might suggest saving the introduction of Stephanie until a little later and using the reader’s curiosity on why Dai talks to his hands to motivate them to read on to find out, but I guess if they find Dai and Steph interesting enough they’d go on regardless.
Cheddar-Graham chapter 1 . 8/3/2015
RG EF

I like the basic premise because it's original but not too unusual that it's hard to identify with. However, I think the dialogue is too modern-sounding. I don't like the lack of editing. There are various typos scattered throughout and I find that very distracting.
Mokii chapter 2 . 6/17/2015
Ahh, sorry I took so long to review! Unexpected suff happened in the past few days x.x;;

I though they were gonna stay at the village, but apparently not. Judging by where they were headed, I'm sure they're headed back to headquarters to report on the mission. I don't think Vrecho and Bresh will be seen again, I'm pretty sure you used them to show the mentality normal people have for Paladians. It will be cool to see what you do with that from there!

Just a suggestion, but when you were in the first scene, you didn't really describe the setting too much so I was confused as to where they were sitting, ect. Yeah you could expand on the setting before the fight starts.

I definitely like the idea of Lore Corner! Reminds me of Mirai Nikki, when Murmur would appear the end and talk about Lore and the next episode.
25 | Page 1 2 Next »