Reviews for Children of the Sky
Rabukurafuto chapter 4 . 6/3/2012
I was delighted to see more of Children of the Sky and to return to this bunch of questing paladins. I had been wondering what would happen to then. They dealt with things as I had expected, but they are not safe yet. I am very interested in seeing what will happen to them next, but the main story beckons once more. I certainly would like to see how these stories meet.

I agree with you on Lawful Stupid paladins. This is why we needed guides to correctly playing lawful good (although right now chaotic good interests me more, but I need more lawful good characters—I think Night is one of my only ones).
Rabukurafuto chapter 3 . 5/28/2012
I think you did a great job in rewriting this chapter. I could feel the sweltering desert heat simmering as I read this. Again, the characters are lightly touched upon, but their personalities are evident at a glance. It is good to see Roland again, although unfortunate Vladimir won't be in attendance as I found him one of your most interesting characters, but it's good to see how Roland will stand on his own.

By a strange coincidence, I just arrived at a very similar location to Taniis in Diablo III; the second act of the game is a ruin-filled desert infested with zombies and various wild animals and demons.

Could you tell me more about this parallel-tracing technique borrowed from Robert Jordan? I haven't read any of those novels and I want to know more about what you're borrowing.
Rabukurafuto chapter 2 . 5/28/2012
I find it an excellent beginning. You get the main characters across quite well here even though they are mostly only lightly touched upon. Tyrion, Sheila, and Terra all sound very cute and likable, and it surprises that Terra is the one to show a hidden reserve of rage, and Sheila already knows the location of Glacier. Those two are very much my favorite characters so far, but I still want to learn more of Grayzag. A fine work.
Rabukurafuto chapter 1 . 5/19/2012
It still reminds me of The Iron Dream. The narrator's disgust for how things have changed from some golden age and the rise of "lesser people" is very similar to Feric Jaggar's thoughts in the beginning of The Iron Dream, except the narrator here surrenders and accepts the new way of the world. It is all very interesting, and I wonder about who this narrator is and what role it will play in the story.
mondo strano chapter 2 . 4/10/2012
I've been looking through a heap of your work, trying to find something I can provide a decent review for. Most of your writing is Sci-fi and Manga, which I have always had difficulty getting into, so can't offer much assistance there.

This particular piece is wonderful, well written and suspenseful.

I'd be keen to continue reading and learn more about this world.

I don't feel I have any right to criticise, your writing being far superior to mine, so I'll only say one thing.

Your descriptions (in all your work, not just this piece) are fantastic, and wonderful in terms of imagery. Be careful not to info-dump.

There have been several instances where I've had to re-read sections to absorb the descriptions. Try and say how the world affects the character, instead of just what it looks like.

For example, I think there is one story where you are describing a house and you mention the door-knockers (or something of the sort).

As opposed to stating what they look like, describe how they feel in the character's hands. Are they sharp, smooth, rough, cold? What sort of sound do they make?

Sorry for carrying on like this.

You are a very talented writer.

-mondo strano.
SolomonSia chapter 1 . 2/7/2012
A promising start! I like the slow, easy build up and graphics, also the tension of the individual in the beginning.

Looking forward to seeing more.