Still, concern rises within, as my eyes behold these waxen wings; that melt as I rise.

I really liked your transition on this poem. It helps it flow well. It also kinda sounds like a prayer of some type. Good job. I really like this poem.

I love the legend of Icarus. I'm working on a play for that actually.

Anyway, that's off topic. I like the melody of this. It's an interesting sort of rhyme; not the usual couplets, and I think you've made it work really well. The syllables work nicely too; the lengths seem just right, save a couple. [Feathers glide toward the unforgiving sea] - unforgiving seems a little too long of a word in the flow - somewhat disruptive, but it's a rather minor point. One thing I felt somewhat unsatisfied with though was your ending; it seems rather incomplete. While the sentiment is nice, "dream" doesn't match with the melody/rhyme above it, but rather seems to suggest something following. As it is, not only does it seem a tad out of place, but also suggests there's more to come.

I really liked this poem. You faithfully kept to the rhyme pattern of the sonnet; it's nice to read something well-structured like that once in a while. The verses are just the right length, too, which makes it flow nicely, and pleasing to read.

Some verses sounded a bit forced to me, though, especially the third: 'and always breathing life on all you see,' I suggest you re-check the grammar as it doesn't sit well with the first two verses. You could also add a coma in the 12th verse after 'swiftly': 'I, Icarus, though falling swiftly, sing' sounds better to me.

Don't know if it was intentional, but I liked the alliteration of the 's' and the 't' on the 13th verse. And you did the personification of the sun quite well, though its comparison to a 'treasure' threw me off a bit. I don't think 'treasure' is the best word you could have used, but oh well. I guess it works.

Now, about the theme: I was a bit confused that you mentioned 'Aten' and 'Amenhotep' which, if I'm not wrong (and I might be, because my knowledge of mythology is a bit lacking) are from Egyptian history, while the myth of Icarus is Greek. I'm not sure if Icarus also exists in Egyptian mythology, or if you mentioned those names because after all Athens and Egypt were quite close or something. It confused me a bit, that's all. Maybe because I don't know enough on the subject.

On the other hand, I thought it was skillful how you made a reference to Daedalus and his advice to his son, without saying his name. Neat.

Finally, I liked the fact that your Icarus doesn't regret flying towards the sun. Since I learned about this story I always thought he'd curse his own arrogance while he fell, but I think I like your interpretation much more. It makes an Icarus who's both happy and sad, who knows he will die but admires the sun nevertheless. You portray that perfectly with a bittersweet tone.

Anyway, it was very well done overall, and I liked it. Keep it up!

I really liked this poem. It's not often that I read poetry in this style and I have to say that it was detailed, intelligent, and very well thought out. Very nice job!

Lovely poem, first one I've read about Greek Mythology too. :) I liked the theme and the way you wrote it; it was very unique. I LOVED the last three lines, they were truly beautiful with incredible imagery. As a sonnet, I'm not at all familiar with it's style, but I've looked it up and it doesn't seem you've followed the form for the last stanza; it's C/D/D/E/C/E. However the theme fits; your first stanza introduces the problem and the second one solves it. Overall, I think it's a beautiful poem, but you should work on your last stanza for the rhyme pattern. :)