|Reviews for Spiral|
| MyWeirdWorld chapter 5 . 4/7/2012
"She knew I wouldn't hit her back, if there's one thing in the world I won't do its hit a woman, so she just kept going and going until I was on the floor" it should be: "She knew I wouldn't hit her back. If there's one thing in the world that I won't do, it's hitting a woman, so she just kept going and going until I was on the floor."
"only with him so she could use his money, and so he stole the car, that he bought her, and drove it into a river." money, so he stole the car that he bought her and drove it into the river
"I was glad I opened the door quietly though because Aunt Aylea" a comma after though
the weird thing also is when i read about the abuse and the alcohol stuff, i can see it so clearly. partly cause of you writing, partly because of, well you know XD abuse isn't hard for me to picture.
but it's all really good XD
| MyWeirdWorld chapter 4 . 4/7/2012
"You're nothing, but a pain in my ass." remove the comma this time XD
""Why is my hand made of rainbos"." it should be: "Why is my hand made of rainbows?"
that about it
it's weird, because its written really well, but you feel the dudes numbness, which makes it a weird thing to read. good, but odd XD
| MyWeirdWorld chapter 3 . 4/7/2012
"If someone doesn't want to talk about something then they don't." a comma after something
it's good, but maybe a bit more dialogue?
| maddie2ere chapter 3 . 3/30/2012
Woah, this is great! I can't wait to read the rest!
| MyWeirdWorld chapter 2 . 3/30/2012
awww... sadness XD
"To shocked." too*
" People told me not to blame myself, because, I was only ten and they didn't expect me to do anything, but I still felt horrible, to see my Mom slowly dying and not knowing what to do." remove the comma after myself
and its good. sad, but its good. thumbs up!
| MyWeirdWorld chapter 1 . 3/26/2012
REVIEW! see, i really was reading it XD
it's good, stable and right to the point ;)
I kinda had to think of J with the cindy girl who's a huge slut XD lol
| lucysongsinger chapter 1 . 1/26/2012
continue writing you rock...can't wait :D