|Reviews for Beggars Pass at Midnight|
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 3 . 3/3/2012
Again, really liking the format. It really nicely suits the tone of the story and I think it allows for more mystery and a greater build up of tension throughout. As well, the shortness of it really makes me, personally, eager to see more, so great job with that. Imagery works brilliantly and the wording, clearly, is carefully chosen. The one thing I will say is some of it just feels slightly awkward when reading -don't know if you do it already, but maybe try reading it out loud after finishing each part? Just an idea. Like I said, can't wait to see more.
| Stewart MacDonald chapter 2 . 2/13/2012
Niice. I can't remember what you call these, when it's like, a poem-story, but they're awesome. Tolkien did a few of those. This is about as good so far. And people say modern literature is a dying art. Might be dying, but I like to think writers like you and me are it's dying, defiant twitches. But I can see the place you describe, as well as relate to the knights quest, his hurdles and challenges my own in metaphorical form. I particularly love the lines, 'To try the gods, defy the odds and prove the heart is true.' But powerful, moving stuff. Can't wait to read more from this. It's funny, in my old lyrics book, I did little pseudo album covers to seperate the songs into albums (Wishful thinking. I thought it was cool), and one of them was this crazy tomb-door. Some fucker stole the book, but it was an amazing drawing. Part II reminded me of it. Anywho, peace, and merry writing!
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 2 . 2/11/2012
I'm really liking the format of this - it brings up some strong imagery and is really interesting to read. The last line, especially, was really good; strong and a great way to leave the reader wanting more. Don't really have any crit to say except the whole beggars pass/Beggar's Pass thing I mentioned before, so yeah - good stuff, can't wait to see more.
| Ed Harley chapter 2 . 2/7/2012
The story is very impressive by itself and then you make it rhyme. Don’t know how you do it. I love the last line: "For you I would risk life and limb, and into darkness drown."
| Fallon Jean Lowe chapter 1 . 2/3/2012
I hope all is well with you. This is a great poem!
Your rhymes were clear and thoughtful, although the meaning was a bit murky to me.
Now, I know little to nothing about the medieval time period in which I imagine that this poem takes place, however your description seemed 100% accurate.
You have excellent use of rhythm and kept a steady pace throughout the piece. My favorite stanza:
He was too old to dread, they say, yet still too young to live,
past the maze of crooked cobbled earth that beggar's pass did give.
But fire and wiles do fuel the heart that aches to see it through.
To try the gods, defy the odds and prove the heart is true.
Love it, love it, love it! :)
Your use of metaphors and similes is also top notch.
Alright, well I suppose that pretty much sums it up. Although I was unclear on the mood and feeling behind this poem, (as in, motivation?) It was mysterious and murky, and leaves the reader wanting more. It is captivating and powerful, maybe because of the steady rhythm or perhaps the flawless rhyming pattern.
A job well done, my friend! :)
Hoping to see more soon!
All the best,
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 1/28/2012
More? I'm really interested to see where this goes. The only thing I want to point out is to do with the title; is it a place? Is it Beggars Pass or Beggar's Pass? I notice in the first verse it's Beggars, but later on it's Beggar's...and, if it is a place, should it have capital letters in the poem? Unless it's intentionally like that but they were the main things that made me wonder, really. [He was too old to dread, they say, yet still too young to live,] I really like that line, and I think the imagery here works really well. Like I said, I'd like to see more.