|Reviews for Celestial Reign: Baying for the Moon|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/19/2014
I got this feeling that i should say this again...this story is great.
| Guest chapter 35 . 4/30/2014
That was incredibile..awesome...great.. .
i totally loved it so much.
i think this i your best work.
I enjoyed it alot...thank u for writing this...and can you write more aboute their future?plzzz...i really love to read more.
after all...great job.
| Guest chapter 33 . 4/30/2014
Awww...i liked twins actually but this was awesome too.
| Guest chapter 28 . 4/30/2014
Ok...amm...i didnt expect that...but it was good.
thing just went boring like that.
but i hope that things wil go best at the end.
| Guest chapter 25 . 4/30/2014
Wow...i have stress for another war for them...i mean...its too much for i remind myself that this is just a story ;)
and forsure its a great one.
| Guest chapter 21 . 4/29/2014
Oh my god...do you have any idea that this is awesome... .
Its great...far better than the first story...i enjoy every chapter alot and im forward to read more.
| shamanic demonator chapter 35 . 3/27/2014
this is soo good! one of my fav stories ever.
| FallenCrest chapter 35 . 11/13/2013
love it! wish i knew the unborn baby's gender though. :)
| cressey chapter 35 . 10/29/2013
Really fallen in love with these characters. Thanks for sharing your stories.
| inwardtransience chapter 35 . 8/3/2013
[...the person could simply slid the duo to the next person in their little circle.]
[...than when she was pregnant with Xi.]
I didn't like this chapter. It was mostly unnecessary. The bit with Xol at the end was better said than not said, but I figure it would be better placed at the end of the previous chapter, and scraping the rest of it. That's probably just me though. I don't like this kind of thing, this pointless fast-forward where everything is happy and perfect. It all just feels so floaty to me, like it's something out of context, unconnected to everything. I don't know. Don't like it.
There's not much I can say I didn't already say for Tears of the Sun, as far as the writing quality goes. They are very similar. Actually I think this one is heavier on the dialog and thinner on the narration, which is a little sad. But I don't like Baying for the Moon nearly as much. I have pretty much already told you why. The conflict is all external. Everyone is happy. Happy people with no internal conflict just really bore me. And then there was the preaching. Lots and lots of preaching. That just got on my nerves.
So. Sequel to a story I absolutely love, that I pretty much feel completely meh about. But I also felt pretty meh about your other stories that I've read. Just not my style I guess.
Sorry if these reviews have turned a little harsh. I'm pretty picky about a lot of things, and sound meaner sometimes than I mean to be.
I wish you good luck on future writing.
| inwardtransience chapter 34 . 8/3/2013
[She traced over the baby's moon mark on her forehead and made the symbol for the child's right cheek.]
I'm assuming that's supposed to be "symbol for the sun on the"
[...so far away that when the royal family exited the couch...]
[She had been blind upon birth, but that faded within a couple of days.]
[Days past and Xi was finally showing signs...]
["I would not swing my sword with Xi in my arms. Are you insane? I would give her to Lucia first."]
lol You're funny, Olga. I still hate you, but you're funny.
[...and thus safe should the crowd because a mob...]
[...open court below the hall that Ileana decided to hold the affair in.]
I don't like this chapter either. I don't know why. It's just all so...meh. I don't know why I feel that way. I guess it's just, as I said earlier, that all the conflict is external. It doesn't really feel like anyone is going anywhere. But I always feel like that when people are happy. Happy stories bore me. So it may just be me. Even so, I feel this ending is pretty flat. But a lot of this story is flat (to me anyway) so that might not mean much.
One more to go.
| inwardtransience chapter 33 . 8/3/2013
[Ileana felt like she could not get a spare minutes...]
[Santo was surprised by Ileana's size the last time he saw her...]
"had been" "had seen"
["How can we explain that I am carrying your child given to us by the gods?"
"Just like that! You're pregnant with our child, our flesh and blood, because of the gods. What more do they want?"]
lol Xol you're adorable
[...the aura that she began giving off made their all squirm.]
[Of course, the fact that she almost killed the whole Council...]
"had almost killed"
[But, he wisely beat a hasty retreat than stay and tried to exchange barbs with Ileana.]
"rather than stay and try"
[No one was quite sure what changed for the Queen...]
[...something very simple brought Ileana more enjoy than anything else could...]
[She found Ileana just as she left her that morning...]
[She knew what to expect and had been in labor for almost an hour before she actually sent for her doctors; she had work she needed to finish.]
[...and she found herself not longer able to handle the contractions.]
Another meh chapter. The dialog was awkward in fewer places than usual. Many places in the chapter could have used more description than they got. Like the labor/birth. It was a little disappointing after the long buildup, but I guess that happens. Meh.
| inwardtransience chapter 32 . 8/3/2013
[...to remind everyone that they were all in on for the long haul and wanted best for the country...]
"in it for" "the best" Although I don't really like the use of this idiom anyway.
[...cat was regulated to a large space in the gardens...]
[...them about the new laws she drafted.]
[Usually the Council held some form of civility since Ileana took over...]
"had taken over"
[...all Hell would break loose if anyone asked how it happened.]
[...they would find out in a rather awkward away.]
[...or be able to pinpoint who said such a hateful thing.]
[Chuachin cannot claim to be so tolerate and then kill itself...]
I was thinking this was a pretty meh chapter. More baby stuff, more country stuff. Most things could have used more description. And then there was the preaching at the end. I really don't like the preaching. It turned this chapter from one I just felt meh about into one I disliked. I just...bad preaching. Bad.
| inwardtransience chapter 31 . 8/3/2013
[ lighting ceremony candles and then dipping]
[...I truly believe in are the one's my wife worships.]
[...which is virtually impossible as she a female and so am I.]
[...but I will do whatever I can do serve you and your names well.]
Either add "to" or change "do"
[Xol's chest felt tight and she could not breath. ]
[And here it is I thought you were the tough one...]
This wording is pretty confused.
[Once Xol regarded consciousness...]
[ If it wasn't for you two...]
[...almost as if she was trying to figure...]
[Miss Olga was in a way very tradition...]
I felt pretty meh about this chapter too. Even though something pretty big happened in it. I didn't really like how their prayers were worded. The dialog was awkward. Little narration where it could have been used to great effect. All around meh.
Meh seems to be my opinion on most of these chapters doesn't it xD
| inwardtransience chapter 30 . 8/2/2013
[Mei might not have gotten curious if only Xol did not press her for the ritual...]
"had not pressed"
[...you will bake it into small cake...]
[It is just a like when a man and a woman try to have a baby.]
Extra "a" this time. Oh how they migrate.
[The tattoo of a circle that was half darkened in made her blink before she followed through with her idea.]
Um. I'm not sure what's going on here.
[...looking like she was rolling around in one of the many nearby bogs.]
["It's a long story, involving the gods, Ileana, me, and the want of a baby along with flowers and baking."
"Why is it that you never make sense when you go about something on your own?"]
["Get me a grandkid!"
"Then you'll really be an elder."
"I'll take it for a grandkid!"]
[Ileana was putting things away from the evening...]
[Xol held up her bounty as if it was the precious thing to ever exist.]
[Xol held herself up on arm while the other moved to sweetly fondle her beloved.]
"up on one arm"
[...so she made due.]
More sex. It didn't seem very well written to me this time, but I'm not the best judge of sexy stuff, so grain of salt. This just felt meh to me again. But most all of this story is meh, so you're probably getting tired of hearing me say that. The little bit with Fry was kinda funny. Other than that, meh.
Onwards and blah blah blah.