|Reviews for Celestial Reign: Baying for the Moon|
| inwardtransience chapter 1 . 7/31/2013
I can't write my own stuff in class—don't have the concentration for it—so I'm back.
[Xol, the sun goddess, and Zonder, the red star, were never friends.]
"had never been"
[Xin was known as the harsher judge...]
Either "the harshest" or "a harsher", depending on what you're going for.
[...having to go over the mountains to return to her own home.]
I don't think this is necessary
[He informed those who had greeted him that he was on his way to the sea.]
This one too.
[...were treated well based on the cultures that they had visited.]
This is a little awkward, and could probably use a little rewording.
[...who were created last in the line of races.]
People who have read the previous story would already know this. I don't think it's strictly necessary.
[...but they both proven wrong. They both found themselves treated equally again.]
My suggestion is again a matter of perspective. I would say "they would both be proven wrong" and "The would both find themselves". If you don't want to do that, just change "they were both"
[...because there were no good humans.]
I don't think this should be there.
[By the time the sunset...]
Whoops. Missing a space
[...the composed Xin had even been as infuriated...]
[They would wander the globe as that "old woman" had and they would know "her suffering."]
You quote things a lot when it's not really necessary.
[...the gods' behavior could not be comprehended by mortals.]
You know, I don't really find this whole thing that incomprehensible xD
Here we have mythology again. I don't want to fault developing mythology. It's very interesting, and it reflects having actually put thought into world building. In fact, I would strongly encourage writers to think about this kind of thing. But I'm not sure I really like this presentation. I would much rather have this appear within the context of the story. Like Mei telling it to Xol. Or even better, Xol relating the story to Ileana. I think it just feels weird and disconnected like this. I mean, it's good to include it, but it would feel more natural within the context of the story.
Or maybe that's just me ._.
I think I can do another one before class ends...
| Hikaru Akihiro chapter 35 . 3/8/2013
Definitely a beautiful sequel. Chuachin was an interesting fictional culture. Xol's powers aren't infinite which is more interesting than a limitless ability. You addressed realistic problems a waning kingdom would face. The solutions to those problems were believable.
I would love seeing another story set in this world. A pleasure to read as always.
| Running home chapter 35 . 1/9/2013
I love this story read it all on one day hope you write another part to this story someday. The whole story made a lot of great points.
| Greek Chorus chapter 35 . 9/27/2012
What a wonderfully satisfying ending. Though there is definitely material for the next story, the epilogue wrapped up the current story's plot elements quite neatly. Even Shei and the bunnies got to take a bow at the final curtain. So glad to see that. The current roles of each character was a great way to show how far each have come - especially Miss Olga (really love that character). Also, enjoyed the snapshot view of the next generation, too. Xi - so precocious and Yun was a nice surprise. Thanks for the excellent and entertaining story.
| onezero chapter 35 . 9/25/2012
This doesn't feel like a story, it feels like a long journey instead. I rarely got pulled into the plot like I am, especially when fantasy is involved or when the story is still in progress. This is a great story, like all of your other ones. And you're a great writer, one of the best I've seen. Thanks!
| The Eternally Heartbroken chapter 35 . 9/25/2012
Beautiful! I love it!
Are you going to do anything else in this universe?
| TheQuietMouse chapter 35 . 9/24/2012
*Thoroughly satisfied sigh*
I've been following this series for quite a while now and it's always managed to keep me interested. This is, I believe, a satisfactory ending for such a wonderful story. Congratulations on a job well done, and please accept my most grateful thanks for an extremely pleasing and imaginative story.
| psychotic-cat17 chapter 35 . 9/23/2012
Very nice ending. I'm so happy Xi has a friend in Yun and a little sibling on the way. It's cute that everyone shares in the childrearing responsibilities and that everyone enjoys it so much. I'm glad that at least one of the brothers has learned the hard lesson the other two did not and has just accepted that the throne is not going to be his; it's nice that he's decided to really get to know his father instead. Anyway, I loved this adventure with Xol and Ileana.
Thanks for writing.
| Chell17 chapter 35 . 9/23/2012
such an awesome ending to an awesome story
| Biodragon chapter 35 . 9/23/2012
What a nice way to wrap things up. Good to see that all is well for this couple and the cute kids.
| Kitmaro chapter 35 . 9/23/2012
A fine ending. It's satisfying to see these two have a good life. With what they went through, they deserve it. Later SL.
| Van Quatra chapter 35 . 9/23/2012
wow what a great finish, i enjoyed this very much. great job
| lloyd1191 chapter 35 . 9/23/2012
Hey, I actually liked this story, a lot. I liked the romance, the suspense of ruling a country with people trying to back stab them and the action of warfare. Drama isn't really my thing, but the other elements made it enjoyable. Another point is that, it felt kind of easy for the main characters to solve the problem, I was expecting a little more challenge for them.
Overall: it was a great story, it was a great series, even with those little things that could cause problems, it was still enjoyable and I hope to read more stories like this from you. Good luck and until next time.
| LuxVenus chapter 35 . 9/23/2012
I believe this is my first time reviewing this story. I found the story before this one and read the entire thing in a matter of hours. Then I began to follow this one and it was a pleasure. My Sunday mornings were something to look forward to because I knew I would see an update for this. This was an amazing journey and I enjoyed it immensely. Thank you for sharing it. I look forward to seeing what else you put out.
| HappyLittleVegemites chapter 35 . 9/23/2012
Ah, what a great way to end a great story. You know, I actually named my fish Daijinn. :)
I'm sad to see this finished, because I'm going to miss reading about Xol and Ileana, but I am looking forward to reading whatever you decide to post on here next.