|Reviews for Cursed Siblings|
| Nintendo Fan 101 chapter 2 . 3/15/2012
Abandoned by a supersitious couple! Keep writing.
| Emmeline C. Thornbrooke chapter 2 . 2/2/2012
Amazing chapter! Keep up the good work! Update soon!
| Lasura chapter 2 . 2/2/2012
Well it is a pretty good idea for a story, I like the idea and quite enjoyed reading it so far.
I would reconsider setting it nowadays because nowadays, if you give birth to children in a hospital and register them, and then it is found that the children just disappear from the parent's life... well the parents would go to jail, which would fulfil the curse and make quite a short story :D It is just a suggestion, I suppose there is a big chance no one would check on the children too, you can work with it :D
Secondly, I understand the urge to show your understanding of different fortune telling techniques but I think you spent a bit too much time on it, readers who have no knowledge of this type of fortune telling won't be able to enjoy it so much :) Again just my opinion but perhaps cut it down a bit.
And I also notice that it flows a bit too quickly sometimes. Some grammar too, for example you have 'she head the cries of the children' not 'heard', nothing another read over won't cure... too bad windows word doesn't understand its not the right word! :(
Anyway keep up the good work! Can't wait to see what happens next :)
| The Light's Refrain chapter 2 . 2/1/2012
I have to say I find the family here fascinating and sickening at the same time. I would like to hear more about their superstitions, family rules, and how they started. It is hrrible that they would abandon their kids without even giving them a chance. Something tells me this "curse" will be their own doing.
While many people wouldn't want to leave abadoned babies out on the street, I'm surprised how easily Gran accepts this burden, as if they're just stray cats. Has she doen this before, perhaps? Or, at the very least, have many stray animals around her she's rescued?
| The Light's Refrain chapter 1 . 2/1/2012
Ah, nothing like getting your life decided for you before you're even born, huh? I feel sorry for the twins already.
While I like the detail you put into the description of the fortune-telling ritual, the line of dialogue at the end feels redundant. You have already explained what the fortune measn by the description after all. So I would either leave out that last line, leaving it just as Lady Fortune is about to deliver the bad news, or have Lady Fortune first tell the fortune, and then explain how she read the fortune via the stones.