Reviews for Adventure Around
Ngaire chapter 1 . 11/30/2013
Really great idea. And anyone who wants to ride a bike around the world definitely gets my vote!
Your Dad says you want constructive criticism, so here is my 2 cents worth: make everything bigger. Make the hard bits harder and the good bits as awesome as you can. So, instead of 'riding up a big hill' ride up a hill 'so steep we can barely make the pedals turn. And just when we thought it would never end, We turned the corner and there was the very top. We could see for miles! Then We rode down the hill so fast, our legs couldn't keep up with the pedals". Something like that.
You have a great imagination. Keep at it!
MazMarik chapter 1 . 11/30/2013
Keep it going!
I liked the idea of going the opposite way around the world once you returned home. Some nice stories, and all I will say is, if you enjoy writing, don't stop!
Dyann Burian chapter 1 . 11/30/2013
Very imaginative for your age Maddie! Shows true promise! I would call it sort of "Facebook style" as that is the way it seemed to read-like you were posting each event on Facebook as it went along. Anyway it was enjoyable to read! Good Job!
Tash chapter 1 . 10/9/2013
Hi Maddie, Your story is very interesting! You definitely have lots of potential to become a writer! Seems like you had lots of fun writing this too, whether it's true or not is hard to work out but that's the key to success with writing. Every story needs to seem real to the reader and you done this perfect! Well done Maddie, be proud! xx
Kaysi chapter 1 . 10/8/2013
Aww I loved this and it kept me smiling and laughing the whole time. You must really love your dad, he seems like a wonderful dad and you are lucky to have him, as he is lucky to have such a smart and sweet daughter. That is a very special bond you should always cherish. Keep up the great stories and look forward to reading about your future adventures!
Gingeronomo chapter 1 . 10/8/2013
Wow. You're so young, yet really inspiring! That sounded like a really fun and difficult trip :)
Dee SNRadio chapter 1 . 10/8/2013
Dear Maddie,

This is an AWESOME, AWESOME STORY! What an adventure your trip around the world sounds like it would be! Your story is creative, very imaginative and very well written!

I have a question! If you could pick one place in the world, anywhere in the world that you could very special place..where would you go , and why would you choose that place?

Keep writing! You are a very talented , creative young lady, and I loved reading your story!

Dee ( )

P.S. No matter how old you get, you -always- miss your Dad! I'm all grown up, with grown up kids, and I still miss my Dad a lot. 3 He lives in Tennessee and I live in California, so I don't get to see him very much. I think it's really cool that we miss our Dads, even though it's not always the most fun thing- it's a very special reminder of he love we have for them, and they have for us, and that's a very special treasure to have. So, if you ever miss your Dad, like you did in the story? Just remember, you missing him is a reminder of LOVE, and it's perfectly okay.

P.S. P.S. - Can't wait to read more of your stories!
Vickie Mahaffey chapter 1 . 10/8/2013
Maddie I loved your story very much you are a talented young lady keep up the good work.
Natalia chapter 1 . 8/17/2013
Remarkable story! Very cute and funny. But how it's possible to travel without food?! When I was 6, a lot of movies were about indians. We worried about them a lot. Me and my girl-friend decided to go to America (from Moscow) to help indians! (Don't really remember how did we intend to go across the ocean?). But we've collected a pouch of dried bread, summer sausages and a few cans of canned fish and some other food for about a month. I lived in a shared apartment (3 families in a flat), so we've hid the pouch in the corridor under the hanger of our flatmates. Just before our runaway we found that the pouch had disappeared. Obviously the proprietress of this hanger found it. It's interesting to me now what did she think about it then? She never told a word. We were disapointed and had to refuse our travel. My friend was very angry with me! The poor Indians... Hope, they are ok now despite that.))) But could please anybody explain to me, what does "brother (or sister) of choice" mean? Couldn't find this term.
SueKelly10 chapter 1 . 7/28/2013
Hello there - I read this because I follow your dad's tweets and like his acting. I really hope you'll keep writing, and I hope you'll keep your very matter-of-fact, open, honest style. It sounds like you like adventure, and I hope you'll continue to do things like this cycling adventure and write about them. I laughed out loud at the sentence "Why would someone think that you don't want the rest of your food, when you have put it in a container and put it in the fridge for later?" because I totally understand that feeling - I had it when I was your age, and I'm still mad when people steal my food (it is not on!). PS I've just turned 52 so I'm very old indeed. I always kept writing from when I was your age. If you do that, you'll wind up with a great collection of stories about your life you will be able to treasure and look back on. You might wind up writing for a living, for fun, or now and again selling a story; who knows. But reading and writing should always stay with you. Keep enjoying both is my humble advice. I never planned to be a writer, but I wound up writing articles and stories about things that are important to me like charities, animal issues, pollution as well as made-up stories, and I'm very lucky that people seem to like reading my stuff. So my advice? Keep writing, keep reading lots of stuff, and save your work. And have fun. All the best, Suzanne
sonya.kitzmiller chapter 1 . 7/27/2013
I liked it. You could see in your mind where she was going. Sentence structure is strong for a 10 year old. Keep it up and someday you might give us the next twilight or hunger games.
Molly chapter 1 . 7/26/2013
I really enjoyed this story. I liked how you used twitter throughout. I hope you keep writing! Have you ever done Nanowrimo? If not, you might enjoy it :) what-is-nanowrimo
TempleOfKhai chapter 1 . 7/26/2013
I thought it was really neat that you decided to tell it as a series of short thoughts, That made it feel like I was there with you while things were happening. I also like how you have your narrator drop things in as she thinks of them. "I haven't mentioned Abby on my tweets, I don't know why." and "My very best blanket. Thank God Debbie's mum remembered to bring it!" are my favorites. It's a clever way of building character for her even though there's no direct description of her in the story.

You might want to think about whether to use the whole phrase "brother and sister of choice" every time. It has kind of a strange feel to it, like when you translate phrases from other languages. (For example: in Arabic, there isn't a word for "aunt" or "uncle" by itself. You have to say "my maternal uncle" or "my paternal aunt", things like that.) If you like that feeling, go ahead and leave it. Just make sure it is a style choice and not something you did by accident. Also, I was a little confused by why you put your breaks (the Xs) where you did.

Overall, very groovy. The story itself felt like a bike ride- breezy and laid back.
TriMOEngr chapter 1 . 4/24/2013
Found your story through your dad's Twitter. Not a crazy SPN fan, but just checking out a few feeds today. I liked your story. I ride my bike a lot - building up mileage to do a 100 mile ride for charity on June 1 in memory of my dad (he passed away from diabetes 3 years ago and I'm raising money for the America Diabetes Association). The farther than I ride, the more I realize how it could be a source of adventure. Riding around the world would sure be tough, but sounds kind of fun too. I like to read about other people's adventures because sometimes I'm too busy being a mom/wife/business owner to take my own adventures. I'm sorry you sometimes get mean people reviewing/responding to you. I hope you get a lot more positive notes than negative. Keep up the good and creative work.
emma kay chapter 1 . 4/11/2013
Fantastic writing reading it is like im there with you. Your descriptions are great as is the love you portray for your a very talented young lady. I hope you continue.
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