Reviews for The Time
Kalopsia chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
Nice poem here. I like the rhyming you incorporated and the subject of evaporating love that was once thought to last forever. As for the rhythm, I think you could go back and re-edit some lines to help the bounciness and flow of the overall poem. For instance, in the fourth line you could rewrite, "That soon I'll be gone." That flows just a tad better! Oh, and watch for spelling, too - i.e. soon for "soom," etc. This is a solid poem about a subject that hits home for a lot of people, but I also know there are more convoluted feelings through a breakup like this. This definitely has more potential that I think you are capable of. Delve just a bit deeper under that skin of yours so you can hit that nerve of realism! Best of luck!