|Reviews for The Antipodean MarySue Elimination Guild|
| Weird Girl 14 chapter 1 . 8/5/2012
LOL! I KNEW it! X'D
I was thinking, "Heh, Heh... The Gothic Sue, Tara, reminds me of the horrible, 'My Immortal' fanfiction...! Same name as the real person, too...! Just a coincidence, I'm sure!"
Wrong! (I read that fanfiction a long time ago, for the first time-read it from beginning to end all in one day...I think I died a little inside)
Anyways! I am loving this so far! (Heh...sweat is a flaw...!)
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 14 . 7/5/2012
Actiony chapter! I loved how you used logic to systematically destroy some of the foundations of her perfection. to quote the creepy blue dude from courage, "YOU'RE NOT PERFECT". I am a little suprised though, that you would choose to leave the other characters out of this confrontation. it seems that candace is playing an increasingly dominant role, with amseg more of in the background. not much humor in this chapter, but some spiffy wordplay, and some good narration and description for balance.
have fun at camp, sounds amazing. going a month without internet is quite the achievement.
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 13 . 6/22/2012
Let me get this straight... you're creating a seperation between the author the character and the real author? obviously it was your power to kill dante, but to the character it was out of her power. so interesting... just who is she? I notice that you're foregoing the normal tone of the story in favor of more serious tone. that's good, it brings out the other sides of characters, just make sure you do it all the way, alot of these characters flip between horror and flipancy within seconds.
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 12 . 6/22/2012
Kay, let me get this strait. James is the alchemist they're trying to save from mary sues. amyti and felicietie are both mary sues. candace is you talking to your characters, embodied in character form, dione is a character in the story within the story, and the rest are all amseg members, of which will has a crush on felicitea, and izzy is sitting on james. huff. right.
well, very snappy dialogue. My only injuction would be to add more narrative, this is almost entirely dialogue, which can be hard to control at the best of times. also, narrative is one of your great tools for humor in satires, use it to describe the surroundsing of the story within the story, as well as make humorous observations. Very entertaining, good going.
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 11 . 5/21/2012
Ha! amazing. You are quite really one of the best satiracal writers i've ever read, "Candace". In any case, you've got a good grasp on one of the main tennants of good satire, mainting a glib tone in dire situations. you've also got the witty raport down pretty good. I also notice your use of normal-ish characters to foil with the fun characters, that's working well. the last element of a satire that needs to be mastered is the satire's purpose, that is, to make fun of something in modern society by reflecting it in a humerous light. You're doing that with your mary sues, my advice would be to find more ways to connect them to somethign the author can relate to, like modern-day, well known mary sues, and connect to the reader's frustration at the impossiblity to attain that level of perfection. Besides that, good plot twists, i love books about going into books, it's like inception. you shouild have a scene where they go into a book, within the book. also, maybe add a little more description, a little less narrative. almost the whole thing is narrative, which is great, but description can do loads of good. Great job.
Hows it going by the way? Dealing with Exams?
| Too Lazy to Log In Today chapter 10 . 4/24/2012
This is really good- it's witty and fun, and I'm anxious to see what's going to happen next. I've read "My Immortal", by the way, and I'm also fairly anxious to see Enoby get her head bashed in.
I'd be interested to know what the other appearances of a similar Sue you keep referring to are, though. I assume the one with Spock is the original Mary-Sue? Anyway, I'm rambling now, aren't I? I'll release you soon enough. I promise.
I really like Dante - he has a distinct personality and that makes him good - and the same deal with Corinne, Meris, and Cleo- and we're starting to get a glimpse of it in Will. The only real flaw you've left for me to point out is that we didn't know the characters very well for a significant chunk of the story and that made it really hard to distinguish between them for a while. It would help to give them more distinct characteristics - something that makes each of them very different from the others, in some significant way - to help differentiate. Still, it's a really minor thing and it passed.
Wow. I didn't release you very soon at all.
Baking words with love,
| Ram Attra chapter 1 . 4/21/2012
this should be continued
because you have so much intrecet detail which is unbeleivable and you have wrote so much!
P.S can you read my story it would be such a gift for someone with your capabilities to read it!
and it is jsu high quality peace of work what should get published!
oh wait it is
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 9 . 4/8/2012
Whoa, that would be fun, and sounds really interesting. alos, what's a cannon?
So, really short chapter, interesting, of course, i did think that manuel's character did change a bit from the chapter where we met him, maybe my first impression was incorrect. but, anyway, i guess that shows how it can be hard to get the reader to see your characters the same way that you do.
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 8 . 4/1/2012
Yay for Manuel! Atleast now we'll have some one who's halfway normal. Not that being normal is bad, but when everyone in the story is abnormal, then they all become normal, if that makes any sense. So, impresive adjetives, but i think your action verbs need work. Try to replace those was's with, well, necessitated, existed, you know, more interesting words. See you are futher the developing the relationship between the amseg and their hq. very nice, very nice.
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 6 . 3/11/2012
becuase when you learn knowledge, you earn it, and you learn responsibilty. becuase knowledge is power, gaining knowledge without effort would result in gaining power without the wisdom to know what to do with it.
Manuel is an amazing foil to these characters, he possesses the normal qualities of a blue-collar, working class man that we can relate to way better than the members of amseg, who are veryy hard to relate to. great idea, he works well, it would be great if you could find some way to give him a part, maybe as liason to the goings ons of the amseg organization. another couple of good jokes this time, but each time it becomes less of a comedy and more of an actual story. you might want that to happenm, i'm not sure, just giving you a headsup.
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 5 . 3/4/2012
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that was nice
so, i guess you want to ditch george. honestly, ithought he was going to die, so i guess this is good for him. so, this story is still making me laugh, i loved the "a vampire male stu in disguise. named cleo." part. also, good balance from the combat. so, who's the leader? each time it seems like somebody new. is it meris?
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 4 . 2/16/2012
liked the tm part. this chapter seemed a bit more seirious than the rest. also, the sues are becoming easier to kill. good luck with the plot, this concept is so amazing, you have plenty of places to go.
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 3 . 2/8/2012
agian, very well done fight scenes. love how you incoporate the traditional reality of calling 911 when someone is hurt with the random attack of fictional sues. had the punk sue died yet? she was cool. and what happed with the gary stu? you never explained about why he hit her, or what makes them vulernable. i got curious. really lively dialogue, keeps things cracking. also, good balance with character building, the one thign i would watch out for is all the characters seem pretty close to the same, but that might be becuase they all just react proffesionaly in combat. now things have calmed down, be sure to illustrate the differences between them.
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 2 . 2/4/2012
their weakness is heavy metal...
sinz u all h8 mah, ;(...
we're not romantically involved...
all my favorite parts. simply amazing.
and, you complety solved the description problem, your using great descripton now, excellent verb usage. love how youaltered that sentence to make it your own. the combat scene was a bit confusing, but those are very hard to do, and you did a good job. great job introducign the characters as well, still need more development on most, but you used indirect characterization, which is very proffesional. keep it up
| Fakety Mcfakename chapter 1 . 2/1/2012
I love this concept so much! writing is strong, lots to work on as far as jazzing it up, but the theme is very clear, and its really funny. i love tara's voice so much, i can jsut hear the terminator in my head.