Awww, such a sweet ending. I do hope you eventually do a sequel to this, I would love to see what happens between Tori and Ryan next!

I think you were doing fine with the conversational light chapters until we get to action and nothing much happened really and then you just concluded! It had been a nice start but climax to resolution poorly done.. Really boring actually.. Try again! :)

Geez, this story had me on edge for quite some time - the mafia thing AND the whole sexual tension that was going on with those two! Really loved this story and I hope to be able to read the sequel soon! totally deserved the SKoW win!

This was an amazing story. I loved how their relationship developed and it made me all mushy inside. Some words were a bit overused but all in all it was lovely. It was cliche...but that doesn't even matter because it was amazing and ahdncfvivifjjddb I have no other words to say!:)

This is such a cute warm and fuzzy story! L

i have to say this was a brilliant story. my favorite line was - I could spot a vain, chauvinistic idiot from a mile away. I went to university, after all. - it had me pissing myself laughing. lovely story with a good plot its amazing how many stories forget that part but yours was well played out. i loved that Tori was funny and different and her girl power spirit towards the end. and Ryan was so cute, i like seeing a guy want to look after a girl if she needed it or not. and i liked johnny. he can butter me up any time ;p thankyou for sharing it was a good fic (sorry i want to put something more elegant but words flee me)
lets go with it was awesome the end

Such a great story. Wonderfully developed characters along with their relationship and the plot. Not a dull moment.
Amazing!

OMG I stayed up til 3 yesterday reading this haha. My dad was about to kill me for staying up that late. OMG, this was amazing. And I can't wait for a sequel... although I might be hesitant to read it, only cus I love how this ended. I sometimes got lost cus of the sudden change in mood and the little detail that went into it. Or maybe it was just my tendency to skip over words.. lol Or that it was really late and I wasn't just paying attention haha.

I loveeeee strong female characters. I don't mind shy, characters, but they have to have depth. They have to have some type of backbone and Tori wasn't anywhere close to being shy but I loved how strong and real she was. And change in Ryan was nice. And getting to know his back story was really nice throughout the story. I like how the other characters also had some depth within them also.

Love the story!
*Ngoc1231*

Who doesn't love UST?

I actually pictured Ryan as Jeremy Renner. But that's probably because I watched Bourne Legacy yesterday.

I love this! The two of them are so cute! I loved the Oreo and water scene. Sooo good.

I really enjoyed this story! Tori was a really refreshing character. Liked it a lot, and loved how they eventually got together. Great job!

OOD

Oh my god, the perfect ending! Ladies, if you want a man...military men are CLEARLY the way to go ;)

I loved this story! Great job!

Awww, the perfect reunion :)

d'aww, I loved it!

About the dual Olivia thing, I actually would love if you keep it in. In real life most people usually have encounters and relationships with at least one name appearing more than once. Three of my closest friends (one from high school, one from dance, one from uni) were all Jessicas, plus I ran into a few casual repeats as well. It's weird if it Doesn't happen. Particularly in this story, the two didn't get confused at all because of very separate locations and circumstances, and when Tori meets FBI Olivia, her quick comparison to her friend clarifies the distinction.

You mentioned a sequel. There is where it might create more difficulty, if FBI Olivia also becomes a closer friend and the two groups start to intermix more. Just write carefully and keep your descriptions clear and I think both characters will thank you for it.

I love Tori's shooting abilities, but I like how she's still true to her character through it all. She doesn't magically step it up with superwoman badass abilities. You've provided backstory for her experience handling guns, and yet through it all we still feel her terror and uncertainty and afterwards she throws up. The details finish the story and give it life.

Very cute (and hot) relationship. I love Ryan, and I love how he slowly opens up to Tori. He is definitely a great character.

I'm very curious about what you'll choose to bring out in the sequel, and I wish you smooth and happy writing.

Thanks so much for posting for us!