|Reviews for Unnatural History|
| Chiarashi chapter 1 . 7/19/2012
Just one thing, please don't start each paragraph with the same word, no less your lead's name... *sigh*
| NiallsOfSmiles chapter 4 . 3/23/2012
I thought Set was the God of Chaos and Darkness, and I thought it was him who tried to take over everything...
| Soulless havok chapter 1 . 3/9/2012
Finally getting around to reading this one and I have no complaints about the grammar, point of view, setting, or characters.
HOWEVER, out of nearly 1,700 words in this chapter, you have used Zach's name 65 or so times. In longer submissions, it is easier to spread these around, but THIS was frequent enough that it got me to the point that I'd twitch and smile in an irritated manner when you would name Zach *AGAIN when that was done three different times in the last paragraph. It's not a hard issue to correct, you just need more tags for Zach so you don't have to call Zach by his given name so often. Maybe this isn't as prevalent in the later chapters (if it is -or rather ISN'T, then I'll find out in the next few nights anyway). Redundant as that was, you have a talent for horror. 'House of Darkness' is a testament to that.
Keep at it,
| Jericho1989 chapter 1 . 2/19/2012
Yea, Good stuff!
| greedmammon chapter 1 . 2/7/2012
I really enjoyed reading this and there were only a few minor grammar issues. Please update soon!