|Reviews for Wonderful World|
| True Talker chapter 1 . 2/11/2012
This is written quite well and this is quite incredible actually. I take it that in regards to the weather in Africa and about cab's in New York deals with your imagination. You had mentioned this twice in your story.
I do so enjoy reading about your imagination here and what you would like to do, it is really very interesting.
Critique; First paragraph - truth's of life. (I thought it would be more appropriate to put 's meaning that the truth's belong to life.)
- 4th paragraph down from the top - The sentence should be - As before I said,...
- Under that - without having to leave my "math" class - You have "maths" class - there shouldn't be an "s" at the end of math.
- Under that - Atlas's so intrigue me. - Belonging to makes more sense here I don't think that it should be "Atlases" which is what you have here.
- 4th paragraph up from the bottom - I am not certain if you had intended for it to be "my" journey or "by" journey - you have "by" journey there.
Near the end you have this word twice "in" you only need it in once for - "in" New York.
Again, you have an "s" at the end of math which is not needed.
Thank you for sharing this.