Oh come on! This is one of my fav book and you
Haven't put up a chapter in three months! Have you abandoned the story? If so , then so will I.

Come on man! I've been waiting 2 months for at least one chapter to be uploaded . Please dont say you've given up on it! You were doing so well!

I LOVE this story. Seriously, I love how detailed and all it is. It's got an awesome plot too. Can't wait til the next update!

Oooh, I like this so much! Poor Eleanor... and Asher sounds yummy!

Love your writing style. I intend to read this entire fic!

Poor girl can never get a break... (

A cliffhanger? You're killing me here lol

Love it! Wish I had a sexy Norwegian hunk who liked me...lol Can't wait for more!

I just found your story, and I have to say I find it quite interesting. I feel so awful for the emotional and physical pain Cain put Eleanor through, and I hope things get better for her :)

Interesting opening. You have a good command of words and phrases. The story line has a lot of potential. You are a good story teller. May I make a couple of suggestions that might make it easier for the reader?

1. Do not have two characters speaking in the same paragraph. Give each a separate paragraph. Visually it opens the page and allows me to read without concentration. when I see those long paragraphs, my eyes cloud over. Break them up.

2. Your writing is like my own. I tend to be too wordy with descriptions and adjectives and adverbs. As I rewrite and edit, I generally erase some good stuff that gets in the way. Example:

***

Finally after an excruciatingly long pause Viktor spoke up, "When did they start again?" he asked gently, knowing it had been several days since the pair had spoken.

***

Try this:

After a long pause, Victor spoke softly,"When did they start again?"

***

As a reader this is easier for me. You will tell me later how long it has been since they spoke.

Finally, you have the potential to be a fine writer. I suggest you read a lot in the genre you wish to write. This will give you a feel for what is published and what sells.

I would appreciate your comments on my story "Charley and the Coach". I particularly interested in character development and story line. This is an erotic romance novel but the first five chapters are fairly tame.

I really love your story update when your can. :)

I just want to let you know that I recently started reading this story and love it! So don't be sad about less readers. I can't wait to see how Eleanor and Asher's relationship develops.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Its very intresting. Update soon

I really like this. It is well written and flows perfectly. The only thing I would point out is the Russian. It's great that you provided the definition in the story but I think that at the end of the chapter you should include pronunciation. It jars the story when you are reading and come across symbols you cannot pronounce.

I really like this. It is well written and flows perfectly. The only thing I would point out is the Russian. It's great that you provided the definition in the story but I think that at the end of the chapter you should include pronunciation. It jars the story when you are reading and come across symbols you cannot pronounce.

I really like this. It is well written and flows perfectly. The only thing I would point out is the Russian. It's great that you provided the definition in the story but I think that at the end of the chapter you should include pronunciation. It jars the story when you are reading and come across symbols you cannot pronounce.