|Reviews for Calder: The Scarlet Snapdragon: September 2019|
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 6/15/2012
The concept is interesing, but I feel that, for what seems like a crime story, a lot of it moves too fast. There were some technical issues that made some parts a little difficult to read, so I would suggest an edit, but for the most part, some of it, like I said, was fast. It seemed to jump around a lot, making some parts incoherent, and there were a lot of characters introduced, making them harder to follow and harder to get a grip of. I think slowing the pace down would really help; spend a bit more time fleshing out the characters before moving onto the next. And I found it odd that Beatrice, all that time, has been pretty close, yet no one has found her? Just seems a bit odd. And yeah, that, to me, added to the feeling of it being just a little fast, as it seems Calder solves it too quickly. I do think, with certain parts, you do have some nice imagery and description which works well. Hope that helps!
| Michodell chapter 1 . 3/24/2012
The writing here is very well done. The descriptions are smooth and each character is very distinct in their actions and dialogue.
So far I really like the beginning of this story and I look forward to reading more.
The only bit of criticism I have to give is to maybe cut this chapter into two. It's a little hard on the eyes reading so long, but otherwise nice start!
| witch22 chapter 1 . 3/15/2012
first i genuinely like stories with family the bondage between Beatrice and her dad seems from few technical mistakes pointed by others this story is in good gears.I am adding this story to my alert 't wait 2 see Beatrice's awesomeness.
| Vivace.Assai chapter 1 . 3/6/2012
This was such a brilliantly little short story. I can't believe this story only has a few reviews, but then, I guess this just proves how so many deserving stories are just about ignored on this site.
Anyways, I enjoyed the way you portrayed the events. The descriptions are really nice, and the plot was very intriguing, too. The characters are also really interesting. I can feel life within them, and they are completely realistic. For example, the playful but loving relationship between Calder and Rearden is a joy to read. Also, Trixie's reactions are understandable. Everything is portrayed really nicely from the characters to the plot itself.
I'm definitely interested in reading your other stories about this Irish family.
Thanks for the great read.
| Kurisuten chapter 1 . 2/24/2012
I am honestly appalled by the fact that your writing lacks more reviews! Your use of imagery and such is engaging and I personally enjoy it very much. I really was so enthralled that I had to reread it in order to really force myself to look for some constructive criticism to give. Although, there is always room for improvement; my main advice to you is just to read again over your writings, read sentences aloud and change things that may sound good in your head but just don't flow well as a reader. This will help to improve clarity in your writing and keep readers engaged, since it will be easier for readers to understand what you, the author, is trying to say. Especially in some of your more long-winded sentences, this can help to help them make more sense when read once through.
I didn't spot any noticeable technical errors, so good job! Keep up the good work. :D
~Kurisuten from a Bucketload of Reviews
| Embarrassed chapter 1 . 2/24/2012
Hey from Roadhouse!
This story seems to have a lot of promise, you have some good descriptions and imagery happening, there's just a few technical errors here and there, or unclear sentences. Reading back over a story, or reading it aloud can often help with finding those sort of things. Also, given that it appeared to have taken place in modern times, the use of "me" instead of "my" seems odd to me, as that is a relatively archaic usage. But quite good so far!