Reviews for RHIMA Sequel
rabxblack chapter 6 . 3/14/2013
loved this chapter. cant wait for the next!
E chapter 6 . 3/11/2013
Yay, you updated!

I enjoyed this chapter, it was very well written and I feel like Trent has been given a little character development. It's nice to see a different side to him. Is it bad that I still wanted Trent to hit Travis? I'm glad he didn't though, violence just isn't his thing.

I'm interested to see where this story goes because right now, I have no idea what might happen. Maybe we'll see zea in the next chapter?

Update soon, I can't wait to read the next chapter! Don't take five months, okay? (;
Melly chapter 6 . 3/11/2013
Ok I was really patient and I kept checking everyday to see if you have updated and here we are. This chapter was kinda short but it was ok next chapter please move forward with the story I read chapter 5 so long ago I just got impatient and needs this story to get moving. Continue though and yes no more 5 months wait seriously
AlwaysForever23 chapter 6 . 3/11/2013
Finallly! Been waiting forever for you to upload! Amazing. Really hope travis and rae are endgame :)
rathina chapter 5 . 3/7/2013
mdsnbx cjokslmerfgn jdvcklm, nbsdhjkclzmx, nbhdsjvkcmxnzbhjdskcmnbhjnkd msvczbhxjknsdcx
Sorry. But I read this when you first posted the first one years ago and now I came back cause it's bookmarked and saw you were bringing it back! Heeeee 3 I loved the other sequel, but I love this one too and I honestly can't wait for you to write more. It's been five months, but I can wait. I waited a few years for this ahaaha :'D 3
petal romance chapter 1 . 2/16/2013
you have changed a little bit. no offence, but i loved your old style of writing. Trent has changed a little bit, i mean i loved his rambling and that made him special but in sequel , he is nowhere rambling and i missed his old attitude. Raina is as lovely as usual but Travis is somehow changed in terms because he was so open and free when t comes to Raina but now he is again bottling himself and i don't like his behavior nowadays. But as you said you have big plans for this story , I hope you will clear these things in the coming chapters. Best of luck :D
Swiftluver101 chapter 5 . 2/14/2013
Too lazy to login, just wanted to say Happy Birthday RHIMA Sequel. It's been exactly a year since 02/14/12 and now its 02/14/13 so happy b day. And review soon I really like this story and I hope you aren't giving it up:(
Guest chapter 5 . 2/9/2013
Update, pleaseeee? It would make my day! :3
Specificity chapter 5 . 1/13/2013
Hi! I read RHIMA a long, long, long time ago, and then stumbled across it just recently and read it again. Then I saw you had a sequel, and decided to come read it, and here I am! I'm glad that you decided to do a sequel. That's exciting. You mentioned that it had been four years since you finished RHIMA and that your writing style hadn't changed that much. On some parts, I definitely agree, and others I have to say that you have changed quite a bit.

It seems that you've stopped conjoining words-especially in parts of speech and dialogue. Doing that makes the words feel really formal and unnatural. You don't meet a lot of people that speak formally in real life. For example, nine out of ten times, someone will say "didn't" instead of "did not" or "isn't" instead of "is not" and so on, but here, almost every single conjoined word has been separated to give the story a disjointed feel that makes it hard to read. On top of that, there are some pretty standard typos that you haven't picked up: you use "coach" instead of "couch" and so on.

From reading RHIMA and this right after each other, I see that you have a tendency to create sentences that are awkward to read. They're not grammatically incorrect at all, but the placement of the words in the sentence could be revised to make a more natural and smooth-sounding sentence.

The characterization seems to have changed slightly since RHIMA, which can be chalked up to the four year gap between the completion and continuation of the series, and the year between where the story left off and picked back up again. Personally, I was expecting the story to pick up a little bit later off in their lives. What I meant to say by all of this is that the character descriptions and actions that you give here seem to have regressed since RHIMA a little bit. Raina, for example, seems a lot less mature here when confronted with issues that she isn't expecting to have to face. I expected her to be more mature about Travis leaving, since she seemed to be able to get over his moving to Virginia with relative ease; Raina might not have liked it, but she was able to look past it and accept his decisions, whereas here, he says he's moving and she flies off the handle, demanding an explanation for why when she clearly stated in RHIMA that part of the reason was because of her and the feelings he had for her. That seems sort of contradictory to me. It's not necessarily a "one way or the other" situation, but I felt like it could have been handled differently.

In addition to this, you also give information to the readers in inopportune moments. When describing other characters and how they relate to everyone in the story, for example. You described how Travis was living with Royce and how his aunt and uncle had offered to help him pay for his tuition fees. You had him detail the relationship through Trent's words when speaking to Raina, which, if you think about it, isn't a logical thing for him to do because both Trent and Raina already know about the character relationship. I understand the need to explain it for new readers, but there are more opportunistic ways to go about doing that: for example, having Raina describe it in an inner monologue. "Royce's parents had offered to help Travis with his school fees in Virginia, but because he was so bent on being independent, he hadn't accepted their help" or something to that effect, maybe.

Perhaps consider taking on a second beta to help you catch more of the mistakes, or get several betas who are each specialized in different things so that none of them conflict with each other. The more heads you have on board, the more mistakes you'll catch.

Anyway, I'm glad to see that you started writing again and that you decided to continue this series! Good job so far!

Thanks for the read,
- A.
DeadlyKitten2021 chapter 5 . 1/2/2013
how dare you!
DeadlyKitten2021 chapter 4 . 1/2/2013
at this point i officially HATE u .!
DeadlyKitten2021 chapter 3 . 1/2/2013
love it so far ;-)
Melly chapter 5 . 12/20/2012
First off I am a Traina fan a huge one at that and I really need an update like now although I know you are busy but hey you left with a cliff hanger and I need to know what happened. This is a great story although I am mad that Rae is with Trent, but I guess its karma when Raina wanted Travis he was unavailable at that time now he wants her and she is unavailable but man I love my TRAINA or RAIVIS.
Guest chapter 5 . 12/18/2012
Love this chapter can't wait to find out what happens when he gets there and sees them together. Awesome book.
bluerose62 chapter 1 . 12/6/2012
I read your first story, meaning, RHIMA. It was awesome and I want you to keep on writing. I'm a true Travis lover...all the way. Your follower 4ever. Thank you!
107 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 7 .. Last Next »