|Reviews for of greater light and greater distance|
| Love A Mysterious Thing chapter 1 . 2/19/2012
omgomgomg. This took my breath away!
| Loopdeloop chapter 1 . 2/17/2012
i like this piece. you've got some rich phrasing in here. "seeing through the clot of mascara", "what are your motives?", "enormous light, i want to navigate by you" are all very effective and well written. the concept is familiar, but there's nothing here that's overboard or overused. your title is good too.
the biggest problem i have is with the closing, from "if only..." out. it doesn't seem as interesting as the rest of the poem, and it's also been done before. "eyes like candles" also doesn't seem as expressive as the rest of the poem. it's not as intrusive as the ending, just something that stuck out.