|Reviews for To a little child|
| The Golden Orchid chapter 1 . 8/30/2013
This poem makes me think. and i love the rhyme scheme! Great work.
| YFIQ chapter 1 . 10/16/2012
Pretty much describes the child's innocence before it gets ripped away once he grows up. Then again, everyone grows up, some sooner than the others.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 1 . 6/3/2012
Ergh... Should have reviewed earlier. btw if I've yet to repaid everything, please let me know.
So now let me give my own take on this work. Idealism vs Cynicism. Childhood innocence vs harsh reality. In a very real sense, you did well in hammering home the contrasts and mockery as the result. In a very twisted way, that really reminds me of Fate/Stay Night visual novel. Especially the second route Unlimited Blade Works.
In a very eerie sense, I do see an edge of fatalism/predestination here. As in everything will happen sooner or later. Sad, yes. True? Even more so. :)
P.S: So how's life for you? June over? ;)
| mathnerd3141 chapter 1 . 3/27/2012
Good structure (rhyming - wow!), but the rhythm (syllables) doesn't quite match up.
Inspiring story. I think that I'm right on the border, crossing into adulthood.
I'm already feeling sentimental about the *freedom* I used to have... i.e. run around and no one cares, "interesting" social life, child's innocence
| A Fire Rose chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
Love the structure of this poem! And you did a nice job with the rhyming. It's difficult to rhyme well in English, just because of the variations in the language. I love the line about how the child "sees everything through the glass of a rose." That was a beautiful image and conveyed the point well, but with different words than "rose-colored glasses." I also love the third stanza with the sounds of "done and through" right before "rush and run." You did write "whisky" instead of what I think was intended to be "whisk." Well done! And great concept :-)
| hvit chapter 1 . 3/17/2012
Ah, a good poem of loss of innocence. This is something that I don't come across often! Kudos to you; this was well-written and beautiful. Your stanzas were well-organized and everything. Man. Every time I write a poem, it goes all over the place, and I end up grouping lines together and making erratic rhymes. All of my poems are in free verse because of this.
Your pattern of ten syllable lines and then some more threw me off the pattern; but I shall yet try to find out which metre you are using! (If you are using one; but I imagine it's just as good without as with.)