|Reviews for Even the Prettiest Roses Have the Deadliest Thorns|
| Miles-tails-prowler chapter 1 . 3/14/2013
Death glare? That's interesting...
| Ditto123 chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
Very interesting. I'll definitely keep an eye out for the next update of this story :))
| Lolitroy chapter 1 . 11/6/2012
O.O ... I can't say if the girl is nuts or if she's trying to get off the dude's attention to keel heeem
| not Ross chapter 1 . 2/20/2012
First, I love the ending. Second, I love that there are, like, no copy-editing mistakes at ALL. Beautiful.
Third, I'm not exactly sure what mood you're trying to get across with the writing, but you use a lot of phrases like, "She was glaring," "He was slurring," etc, and I was going to say that you could change those to something like, "She glared," "His words became slurred" or something along those lines, but then I looked back at the first sentence and realized that you may be trying to accomplish the, I'm-sitting-in-Starbucks-telling-you-about-what-happened, which isn't necessarily bad... Maybe if you're working towards that feel, make it a *little* more apparent - not over-the-top, just using specific speech patterns or something.
I also agree with the other review when I say that I'm not really sure what this character is like yet... Thanks to a plethora of writing podcasts on iTunes, I now know that one of the main things a first chapter has to do is endear the main character to the reader - this has not quite happened yet. Again agreeing with the previous review, I think that one very easy way to do this would be to make him/her (gender! what gender is the character?) react to this beat-up girl on the side of the road. Just a thought?
But, of course, I wouldn't have bothered to review this unless I thought there was some seriously cool stuff waiting to happen in this story... haha :)
(p.s. I hope this review isn't insulting. It's most definitely not intended to be!)
| Mieu-san chapter 1 . 2/20/2012
Ooh, a promising story! I like the flow pretty well, although I feel like a little more exposition might be merited. Just a little, though, because I really like how Koyuri isn't freaking out like an idiot, but I feel like as a normal teenager he would react a little more. Perhaps be bothered by her not speaking or be kind of gratified or worried about the drunken idiot choking on something.
Lots of promise, though, and I hope you take this somewhere cool. Make sure to keep writing!