|Reviews for Solitude's Howl|
| AlysonSerenaStone chapter 7 . 5/25/2014
I hate whenever authors do this! You have a really good story going here! Oh well, it's not like you are leaving it forever?!
| Aura-Sama chapter 7 . 9/16/2013
Awesome story, great chapter, I can't wait to read more!
| Dahlia Wolffe chapter 1 . 8/6/2013
I really liked this chapter. I was really combing through it to try to find any notes to give you but I really couldn't. It flowed very smooth and I liked the introduction to her as a wolf. It was just enough action without being life threatening from the get go, so I liked that.
I notice you used the word "form" to describe her changes, and I know with this genre you are trying to run away from "turn" like Usain Bolt but it seemed a little awkward. It's your terminology though, and I really liked the metaphor "non humanness". Also when you said "she was use to her pack" I know you probably meant "used to". I was a little confused by what you meant in the third to last paragraph, describing why werewolves use scented/unscented products. I get that it's a way to mask it but one of those sentences in there had me lost.
Anywho, glad to have found a new good fic to read when I get on. :) I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what she gets into and more about her past. Great first chapter.
| Vladvonbounce chapter 7 . 8/4/2013
That was a pretty sad chapter. Blaise is trying so hard to be helpful and Harper is clearly in need of a lot of help. Hopefully she will learn from this and change more often. I think perhaps at points even Harper would have to admit she is acting very strangely though. Not so much in the way of her appearance but her reluctance to comment or try and make an excuse for what she looks like. For instance she could have sad that someone had brought a dog over and hence the dog hair. I am surprised Blaise didn't try to take her to the hospital or an insane asylum. I thought you ended it well with the reference to possible HIV.
"Around an hour and a half later found her struggling to move to furniture back to where it originally sat" - the furniture
"She lost weight" - she had lost weight
I like the way Linora doesn't seem remotely concerned about Harper's well being. She is so concentrated on herself.
"when he had first came over to fix her car a couple "- either 'when he had first come over' or 'when he first came over'
"But he felt like he only knew just an ounce of who she really is" This is a flip between past and present tense but I know what you mean.
"but he knew it wasn't long enough be her hair at the length of his index finger" - to be her hair
Hope you write some more chapters soon!
| Vladvonbounce chapter 6 . 8/1/2013
Another great chapter! I was going to suggest Harper could form in her apartment but you beat me to it. The dialogue between Harper and Blaise is great. it's funny, engaging and sweet. I like the way you keep swapping between their points of view and give both sides of the story
the only criticism I can come up with is the story still seems yet to get to what is mentioned in the summary. The romance plot with Harper and Blaise is going along smoothly but that seems to be the whole of the story. Which is still pretty awesome anyway.
Also I don't understand why Kenny is so insistent on him going to his party. She doesn't want to go. So what? Humans are weird.
| Vladvonbounce chapter 5 . 7/31/2013
Am really enjoying this. Harper is a great character. You have done an excellent job of writing her. I feel like I know her.
A couple of small grammar problems
"But she flipped through the beige pages idly" Probably don't need the but as this is not contradicting anything.
"The Science Fiction section always managed to amuse her" Science fiction doesn't need capitals.
"While in her Pack, she knew of the holidays that most celebrated throughout the year" most people, might make it a bit clearer.
I like that she is worried about getting sick, even though she is a werewolf. It makes your story more realistic.
The next day found her in the antique shop sitting behind the cash register as listened to her boss go on and on about an ancient looking Cuckoo clock" - as she listened
"The customers a couple who were looking for small " - should be commas before and after a couple.
"but you'll be compensated, Harper." I like the idea of a sweet old lady, doing a shady business deal for an antique clock.
"Around two hours later Harper was found sitting in her car" This makes it sound as if she died. :O You could remove found.
"She was use to long drives" - used.
"From what she remembered on her drive there she was passing flat farms and fields, with homes dotting the lands."- comma after there.
"Sometime after Harper had decided that sitting in the car wasn't going to do anything." I would change this around a bit. "Sometime later Harper decided that merely sitting in the car wasn't going to change anything."
"but she held those as she last option" - her
Loved the call to Linora. That was really funny and frustrating. Poor Harper.
earing- ear ring.
"A few seconds of silence had him chuckling deeply and saying, "I was talking about food, Harper. We were at a restaurant." That was funny.
"her head resting against the window as she watched the land pass by" isn't it night time?
""I'm not sure, they might. I never looked.""
" It shouldn't matter what he thought, she was superior to him,"
This is very harper. I love the way you develop her character like this.
| Vladvonbounce chapter 4 . 7/30/2013
I really love the banter between Harper and Blaise. Its very amusing. He is really persistent while she can't bring herself to be rude enough to get her to leave him alone but ends up falling for his wiles somewhat. I really liked the lines about her imaginary friend and favourite fruits. Pickles and cherries were really good choices to show off the characters personalities.
So was this meant to be on the Wednesday they had agreed for the date. I noticed it was about 6pm but I didn't notice a mention of it being Wednesday?
Small grammar nit picking
"almost like the action was as sin" should be a sin
"she expected it to sooth away completely by the weekend" there's an e on the end of soothe.
it is a bit slow but I am okay with it as I don't feel like it is dragged out. there is just not much happening aside from entertaining dialogue. Some more action in next chapters would be welcome.
| Menn chapter 6 . 7/29/2013
Dude, the INTENSITY of your writing. There is not much dialogue, but you compensate by much detail with the facial expressions. You seem really skilled in simply telling the reader HOW the scene is.
I sometimes find stories that do not have much dialogue boring and hard to follow, but it really worked for you. I guess it would make sense for someone who is really trying to keep herself on the down-low, right? :)
Keep it up!
| Vladvonbounce chapter 3 . 7/29/2013
Excellent, detailed description of turning into a werewolf. I would say it was a bit long but it was still really engaging I felt. Some more interesting background on Harper's parents. Nice ending too, slightly ambiguous as if she might change her mind, which hopefully she will.
The only downside I thought to this chapter was it seemed to really just be informative. Nothing much is really happening. It is just describing the setting and the background. Could be interesting if something happened while she was in the forest. Fight with a black bear would be awesome.
But if the next chapter kicks it up a notch that is all cool.
| Vladvonbounce chapter 2 . 7/25/2013
I really enjoyed reading this chapter. I really like Harper, she had a lot of idiosyncrasies which make her endearing, like eating the sunflower seeds. I also like way she separates herself from humans and sees herself as apart.
Developing into the romance with Blaise was nicely done. It was very smooth from first sight to asking her out. Swapping to his perspective was also cool as it showed a lot of traits in a different light.
There were a couple of small grammar things I would change. Like right at the end. I would avoid the double negative and say "This was just the first time she had said yes."
Definitely worth continuing!
| Vladvonbounce chapter 1 . 7/24/2013
I really like werewolf stories where they just turn into wolves as wolves are pretty awesome. I think you have done a really good job of setting up the story. You have neatly explained a lot of the circumstances peculiar to this set of werewolves without just listing them. Particularly the information about smells was quite interesting. It's a great idea to have a downside to really good smelling abilities as many stories are just like these abilities are all upside and no downside.
A few small nitpicks.
"Before quiet contained gasps and moans of pain left the owner as they struggled to Form back"
This could be better worded. I think you are meaning that before it was quiet but now there were gasps and moans.
"The slid atop the surface and fell to the floor" ... "They slid atop the surface and fell to the floor"
"One of the many invites she'd received by him, and like the previous, she declined."
'and like the previous' is a bit redundant and breaks the flow of the sentence I feel. I know how she feels though. What is it with people and over the top music?
"She was use to her Pack"..."She was used to her Pack"
I like that you keep mentioning this pack without explaining it. You assume it is a pack of werewolves but you don't know any details which makes it intriguing.
Weres, not sure about the plural of were. Sounds a bit odd to me, although if you like it that's cool.
"she could hear cars from a quite a distance away or listen to the hushed argument her neighbors are having two stories down from her"
Should it be 'were having' so it is the same tense as the first example?
"it wasn't strong and it wasn't like was a horrible smell."..."it wasn't strong and it wasn't like it was a horrible smell."
Very nice ending, alluding to unknown events, wants to make you read more.
| HopelessGenius chapter 3 . 7/11/2013
I loved the reference to the taste buds. It was very clever and well stated. Overall another fantastic chapter. No little things to point out this time ;)
| HopelessGenius chapter 2 . 7/11/2013
This chapter was as beautiful as the first but I do have a suggestion for you. In the first chapter I noticed the use of the word "some" approximately three times in the first few chapters where it really wasn't needed. I ignored it because I didn't see it elsewhere but I just saw it again and decided to give a bit of advice.
In no way do I think myself an exceptional writer, so please don't think of this as criticism. It's simply a suggestion: "She sighed and grabbed an egg and some ham," The some isn't descriptive enough. It's a blurry line that can throw a reader off. You could say, "She sighed and grabbed an egg and a slice of ham," or something along those lines. It's a small change that can make a big difference in the flow of your story. And when you talk about her wearing "some black leggings" you could just say black leggings. The some is unnecessary.
Oh and this line, "He would have laughed at her if I didn't think she'd take offense, this line he was walking was thin, he had to tread carefully" You switched to first person in the middle with the I. Goodness you must hate me now for pointing out all these little nitpicky things...
But this is DEFINITELY worth continuing. You write so beautifully it would be a waste not to. I just happened to find a few mistakes :)
Anyway, I must continue reading. I find myself adoring this Blaise and can't wait to see what havoc he can wreak on Harper's life...
| HopelessGenius chapter 1 . 7/11/2013
This is amazing. You write with such detail, such eloquence...it's beautiful. I can't wait to read more.
| GamerGrrrrl chapter 7 . 7/10/2013
I love your stories sombrette!
They are amazing )