|Reviews for Reboot|
| BT chapter 21 . 8/11/2012
Only three more chapters? And one is an epilogue! Come on, what good is knowing an author if you can't wheedle more chapters out of him?
| BT chapter 20 . 8/11/2012
| BT chapter 14 . 8/11/2012
You don't suck, and this story is good enough I want to get back to reading it.
| Omnipotent-Mind chapter 24 . 8/9/2012
Excellent story so far. Definitely one of the best on FictionPress. Went through it in one sitting which is something I rarely do these days. I was suprised to read that english isn't your first language, as i couldn't tell from your writing, and usually i can. It is my feeling that any constructive criticism i could give you has already been mentioned. I would simply like to say that you probabaly should have mentioned Agent Orange in your want not to do in Vietnam dialogue. The main character seems very focused on saving lives, and the fact that it's not even mentioned is more then a little odd. That said, thank you for a story well worth my time. I look forward to reading the next installment and hopefully providing you with the some helpful constructive criticism.
| SpectreX chapter 15 . 8/1/2012
First post on fictionpress so, here goes. I absolutely love ISOT stuff and this is one of the better examples I've seen online. Well, paced and well written and I truly appreciate the level of technical detail. I'm only on chapter 15 of 24 but I'm already chanting, "I want more..." .
| wayneo chapter 24 . 7/30/2012
Enjoyed the story. Thanks
| SirPancake chapter 1 . 7/30/2012
Wow, this is a great story so far. I love the whole concept of your story. It is just a wonderful idea.
| Takano-Isorokyu chapter 24 . 7/30/2012
(Grin) Thanks for the reviews - keep them coming! - it helps the writing - critiques - what did I do wrong, what did I do right, are even better! - and the Sequel - "When the Going gets Weird" - is already started. What happens from 1965 and on. Stevie and parents negotiating this new and different Sixties..and Stevie and his little brother Michael, Mikie-chan...who becomes Mongo in 1971.
| Travellersall chapter 24 . 7/29/2012
NOOO! WHY MUST IT END HERE!
Seriously though. I need to know what happens to them.
| Richard Poynton chapter 14 . 7/29/2012
Avery good story. i. Have read a book similar in concept to this, about a man who repeats his own life, time and time again, dying then waking as an early teenager through to middle age, each time his 'restart' is at a later stage in his life, until he 'wakes' just minutes from his owm death. Cannot remember the name of it, but if I find the book again I'll put the name in another comment. I truly do like this story and what makes it better for me is the attention to desciptive details you are using about the work the main character does. Onn chapter 14 now, will read the rest of it after finishing this comment.
| Takano-Isorokyu chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
Thanks - for the reviews - especially - radred? - or at least Guest - that is the kind of review that is the most valuable! - I post in places like this to get experience and feedback, so when I start pushing my work to publishers, it is not dreck.
That is why I'm here, to get experience.
I'm glad you liked it. Already started work on a sequel - "When the Going get's weird"
Feel free to PM me also.
A few minor items - The drill rifle is 42 inches long. One of my best Exhibition Drill Performers is a young lady, who is 60 inches tall. So, I figure, having Steve 60 inches tall and doing exhibition drill is not at all improbable.
Grammar and homonym problems - dyslexia, ADHD and English is my second language, despite forty five years of experience with it. Still trying to master it. Thank GOD for spell check and grammar check.
| mikedunn2000 chapter 24 . 7/28/2012
Thank you for your interesting time travel story.
I hope you keep the series going.
| radred chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
sorry, that last comment was mine.
i forgot to add my name... and a sentence:
*the use of acronyms is also great. it makes him feel very familiar with military workings and really helps the flow (which is obviously why you did it), especially with the Other Time Line and This Time Line.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
To be honest... that was amazing
best read i've had for a while
I love the the main character. The sardonic comments, his handling of situations, his jaded outlook on life, brilliant... dafuq is this doing on a website rather than being a published novella?
You also paint a very realistic scene. the japanese feel japanese, the americans american. The use of honourifics and the splattering of japanese terms is also really good, it feels very authentic. /very/ authentic.
although, you could possibly have steven say sama instead of san to some of the more influential japanese figures.
the use of acronyms is also great. it makes him feel very familiar with military workings and really helps the flow (which is obviously why you did it), especially with the current and
Now... constructive criticism. much of this has probably already been said but here goes:
The way he handled the dun drill at the beginning was... odd. I liked it but it could be better. i'm not good enough to tell you how, or even if it's possible, but it did seem slightly (and only slightly) off.
the dialogue at the end of chapter 13 was a little hard to follow. It moves a bit too fast with new characters to follow properly; i had to read it three times before i could totally comprehend what was going on. (but that could just be me)
in chapter 15 steven says that his mother could speak and write in fluent english and japaneese but after the fight he tells the major (the boy-that-mugged-steven's father was a major right?) that she would have been unable to help him write the report.
in chapter 16
"So…if he was terribly bothered by the fact that a seven year old boy had invented a Precision Guided Weapon that cost a fraction of what the current ones cost, it did not seem to bother him. The fact that these JDAM kits – hey, I kept the name, what can I say? – were supplied by Matsushita Electronics – didn't seem to bother him much either.?
you've basically said 'if he was bothered he wasn't bothered'. The use of bothered at the end is fine, as it's reinforcing the point, but the first two contradict each other.
this is probably the weakest chapter. The new characters are introduced too fast and the scene is over too fast. at least, i think that's what's wrong with it.
chapter 17 uses bothered in the same was as in 16. although, this probably only stood out because of the contradiction at the beginning of 16.
i totally thought that they were CIA agents, then they turned out to be KGB! Very, very well done. my only comment is that you could probably work in a comment that his new "guards" also acted as disincentive for any future attempts... or the same for the failure of their attempt. The event is not forgotten (it's actually explained very well with the whole 'riddled with spies' conversation) but the danger of future attempts is. (but this is major nitpicking)
regarding whether you should end it here, i think you should.
I would /love/ to read more about this guy but this seems like the best end point. you've wrapped up things with his father's family (although not his mother's) and outlined his future plans. If you finish here you finish on a major high and leave with an excellent final impression, rather than petering out.
anyway, absolutely brilliant. i REALLY enjoyed this...
once again, how is this not a novella?
N.B. for all people who read this. Comment on all of the stories you read.
Point out the good, point out the bad. Give ideas to improve things.
Praise is good. Praise with what you liked about it is better.
But, even saying something is shit and giving reasons why or advice on how to improve it is better than the highest of praise.
| NeWBeE chapter 24 . 7/28/2012
wow, great read. I read it in one sitting and it was quite riveting. I look forward to further works from you.