|Reviews for My Sweet Escape|
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 2 . 5/22/2012
Matthew is creepy. XD
Are you still working on this? I'd like to see what happens next.
| Allison chapter 2 . 2/27/2012
Cool! I love the twist on little red riding hood!
| Rynx-too-genki chapter 2 . 2/27/2012
Awesome story! I can't wait to see where this goes! :DD!
| Jasmine Syms chapter 1 . 2/25/2012
Okay for starters: Don't say outright how sexy a guy is and how in love with him she is. Talk about his eyes, abs (of course!) and all those details that will tell us he's hot without saying he's hot. And the instantly thinking of Matthew was a good detail, if you weren't already told she basically loves him.
I'm favoriting because I find this interesting...
If its not too much, can you read one of my books? just asking none of them have many chapters.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 1 . 2/25/2012
Hmm... I like this story so far. There are a few things, though.
[I had just turned 18 and they're already ready to marry me off to someone. Though most girls in this village would have been married off two years ago.]
If most girls her age got married two years ago, that should seem like the norm to her, and she wouldn't be thinking that eighteen was too young.
Also... Matthew. I hate him already. He's crazy manipulative and scary and Charlotte knows it... so why is she still his best friend, and why is she fighting to be with him instead of the "perfectly nice" other guy? I mean, of course she shouldn't have to marry anyone she doesn't want to no matter how nice he is... but you haven't done much to have Matthew win the reader's favor over Bruce.
Seems like they'll have a very screwed up relationship. Screwed up relationships can have a place in fiction, but it's very difficult to do them well - if the jerk changes, it has to be realistic change, and if he doesn't change, you have to make it clear that you're intentionally presenting the relationship as screwed up. So far this story hasn't really given me good vibes in that regard. I applaud you on Charlotte recognizing and calling him out on his behavior, though.
Anyway, not to rail on you too hard. I do like this plot; it's a good twist on the original story. I'll be looking forward to reading more.