|Reviews for Deep Sea|
| JazzyCat67 chapter 29 . 10/1/2020
I know you wrote this story many, many years ago, but I just found your channel and wanted to read through what you had to offer. I have to say.. wow.
This story was amazing. The sea always held a certain place in my heart, but the way you put it, the way you spin the modern world mixed with the fantasy one is so amazing.
There are very few writers out there that can make me so invested in a story, so needing to know where it goes. Every twist, every bit of romance, was amazing.
If the rest of your stories are even half as good as this one was i plan on reading through them all nonstop.
Just wanted you to know you did an amazing job.
| marzmez chapter 11 . 1/30/2017
I don't know if anyone has told you this yet, but radar is for aircraft, sonar is for watercraft.
| Lollypops101 chapter 29 . 1/4/2017
I really loved this story! You have a real gift for writing.
| clarbret chapter 24 . 8/1/2016
Just thought I'd point out that 10,000 feet is not much more than a mile deep.
| andrea chapter 29 . 2/6/2014
Holy Freaking Crap you can write a good story! Amazing plot and discriptive writing style, very minimal gramerical errors and I am now planning on reading the rest of your stories! Good job writing this!
| Veronica Fay chapter 29 . 1/23/2014
Hi! This was really great! I read through in one sitting! You are a really great writer!
| mouse chapter 1 . 9/22/2013
I sent you a message via and i have another question. Are you really planning to leave your last 2 fics unfinished.
| R. Ficst chapter 29 . 9/26/2012
I'm so glad I stuck with it. Although some typos and misspellings continued, it could have been worse. Your writing overall is absolutely wonderful. You vary the sentence structure, and the pacing and plot were spot on.
I really loved this story and can't wait for the sequel! Great work!
| R. Ficst chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
This is a very promising story, and I greatly enjoyed reading the first chapter. The pacing was perfect, and you draw the reader in well with the action in the first scene, the reveal of your world's special MCRC, and then the new partner and mysterious mission. It's greatest failing is the grammar. And yet, the syntax and rhythm are fine. Mostly, simple typos, and some misspellings and wrong word choices are pulling you down. If there were only one or two, it wouldn't be so distracting. As it is, I really hope you'd consider working with a beta. With just what I've read so far, you are a great writer. I'm going to keep reading, and see if I can put up with the errors. (Because I really am intrigued by the story). I can see that this story is marked as "complete." Do you think you might come back to edit it some?
Here's an example of what I found in just one paragraph:
Joe sighed. "Well, Jack wont assign me a partner." Jack was head of the criminal division of MCRC. Joe wasn't much of a fighter and she wasn't a very good shot. But she was clever, resourceful, and great at detecting. But because she could hit the broad side of a barn in broad daylight and because she had all the fighting ability of an elf, she wasn't aloud to work criminal without a patner who could do those things. "He's being a real dick about it." She crossed her arms a bit childishly. "I started working for MCRC to work for criminal not play matchmaker to a hoard of horny centaurs."
with just a few changes:
Joe sighed. "Well, Jack wont assign me a partner." Jack was head of the criminal division of MCRC. Joe wasn't much of a fighter and she wasn't a very good shot. But she was clever, resourceful, and great at detecting. But because she (couldn't) hit the broad side of a barn in broad daylight and because she had all the fighting ability of an elf, she wasn't (allowed) to work criminal without a (partner) who could do those things. "He's being a real dick about it." She crossed her arms a bit childishly. "I started working for MCRC to work for criminal, not play matchmaker to a (horde) of horny centaurs."
The misspelling of partner was probably a simple typo, easy to overlook in proofreading. However, while the mistake with could/couldn't may have been a typo as well, it served to confuse the meaning of the sentence much more. Furthermore, the words aloud and hoard have an entirely different meaning from your intended use. I was able to easily understand what you meant in these cases, but I have read stories where similar errors were not as easy to decode.
I really hope you will take the time to proofread more, or work on improving your grammar, because from what I have read so far, I know you have great potential as a writer.
I hope you haven't taken anything I have written as personally offensive. I really mean this as constructive criticism - emphasis on constructive. I only hope to encourage you to continue to write and improve, as I know you can.
| dream-beautiful chapter 29 . 6/11/2012
Ahhh, kind of anticlimactic. Thats a bit dissapointing, I'd have liked to see Josh's exposure, if not reveal the whole mystery, like, oh I dunno, throwing himself off the deck in a fit of overwhelming guilt? Haha. Good job, can't wait for the next.
| Shanna Aquiora chapter 28 . 6/11/2012
This has gotten so intense. I wonder what is up with the dead babies and just who ordered it. I really enjoyed reading this story and can't wait to find out just who is doing all of this horrible stuff. Keep it up
| dream-beautiful chapter 28 . 6/9/2012
Holyshitwoah. This is so absolutely intruiging, how does it not have more reviews? Great, though more than a little disturbing lol, imagery.
| dream-beautiful chapter 25 . 5/16/2012
Ahh, I'd sorta forgotten about Kai being a fighter too. That's hot, haha.
| Kim Kirsten13 chapter 24 . 5/12/2012
I just love this story. It's just so different from the other stories on mer people.
I'm afraid I can truly say I'm addicted to it. Just waiting, waiting and more waiting for the next chapter!
| Druxcian chapter 22 . 5/2/2012
I never thought I'd say this about anything, but beautiful sex scene. I love how it focuses more on the emotions of the two rather than the actual sex. :3
And why, Josh, why? D: they trusted yoouu. Not sure what he's up to, but it doesn't sound good.