Reviews for How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
Vladvonbounce chapter 9 . 8/28/2013
It's nice to see them all working together for a change.
To be honest it was a bit hard to follow what was going on and what people were really doing or thinking because it was so random at points. It doesn't really pass a reality check. That's okay if that is what you want to go for though.
Also Duff keeps mentioning that the others are really stupid, but I feel like the evidence doesn't show that much. if anything I would say Duff is the biggest idiot in the group. Although maybe that is what you are suggesting?
Vladvonbounce chapter 8 . 8/28/2013
Some good and some bad here.
The last sentence was great!
"Yeah, because most people are either on supermarkets or electrodomestic stores. Most people think more about food and fun than about a good place to sleep since that's sorta gay." This was likewise good too until you mentioned gay. There is nothing particularly gay about thinking about sleep before food.

"Weee are the champions..."
"Stop it, Duff. Singing annoying songs is MY job."
This was great.

"PETER PAN IS EVIL!" I cried. This was exceptionally random. Am I missing something?

prison 'cuz he had a mutant whale for a pet
This was almost a really nice paragraph to move away from the randomness for a moment and take a more serious reflection which I think is a great idea.

It had been the same pedophilic voice
I don't really know what you mean by this? The voice didn't say anything pedophilic and I don't know how a voice can sound like a pedophile?

Perhaps my chance to scream the random
Perhaps not :)
Vladvonbounce chapter 7 . 8/28/2013
I felt like there was a bit more plot development in this chapter than being just completely random which was good. the court scene was sort of amusing but I can't really see it happening. After the whole strangling building on fire incident they pretend to just have a civil fake court trial?

Zombies learning things was quite interesting. But I didn't get why they all then decided to chase him?
Also there seems to be a lot of physical violence between the characters. One says something so the other hits them or threatens to?
Vladvonbounce chapter 6 . 8/28/2013
3. When I killed an alien.- She killed an alien?

I was blank until I understood his flat joke. I don't think I get the joke?

third leg? Do you perhaps mean penis? Maybe a culture difference here?

Definitely win the award for wacky. The last several lines I started laughing even though it was so silly so good job there. Duff is ridiculous. Despite the current situation she is just like 'you are creepy I don't like that'.
Not sure what was going on with the zombie with a flamethrower? Seemed a bit random. Also why did he initially say it was with lasers?
Zombies not being able to hear was cool and interesting.

I would also advise against overdoing ALL CAPS. I find it a bit annoying.
Vladvonbounce chapter 5 . 8/28/2013
I really like the lists you make. Always highly amusing. The hotel catching fire was a bit odd. I didn't really understand that or why Duff went crazy? Not to mention surely she could have put her dirty clothes on instead of going naked?

"NO, I DON'T MEAN THAT YOU PERVERT"-? Not sure who is being a pervert here exactly. She takes all her clothes off and then runs around. Hardly perverted.

I am not sure exactly where this is going at the moment. I think you need some sort of plot destination.
Vladvonbounce chapter 4 . 8/28/2013
Another pretty weird but cool chapter. Your writing is definitely unique. I don't quite understand why Duff is so reluctant to cook for them?
I like the nice shortness of these chapters by the way.

I'd never had gone out of that undead horde by myself-have got away from
Vladvonbounce chapter 3 . 8/28/2013
Perhaps a little too much revolving around toilet humour for my liking but it is still pretty good. I like that they try doing the thriller dance to avoid the zombies. April, Kerberos and Butch are very weird characters, but I sort of like that too. it is original. Although I don't know about Butch eating wood. Unless he is a supernatural being of some sort.
"You how howta cook?" - "You know how to cook?" I guess you are trying an accent here but it doesn't work for me.

"I was blanker that last year's math test."- than. Also do you mean the answers to the test or you got an entire blank test?

strawberrying monkey-?

you want me too- to

I was the middle of nowhere- I was in the middle of nowhere
Vladvonbounce chapter 2 . 8/28/2013
Again I really like the humour of your story, although there are some points you should be careful of offending people perhaps. Questioning people's gender and sexuality is not a great idea. Duff Obama is definitely an unusual name for a heroine. not sure how I really feel about that :)
I do like the way she cares more about getting pizza than pretty much anything else.

In the three hours I have dezombifying the area I have:
I am not sure what you want this sentence to say
In three hours I have dezombified the area?
I have spent the last three hours dezombifying the area?
Either way it should probably be a separate sentence

Now my sweet-sixteen ultragorgeous-outfit-consisting-of-a-short-and-a-m eatball-T-shirt
Meatball? Also you don't need hyphens it makes it hard to read.

I had to run away waving my arms in the air, something I do but have NO idea why.- Careful with the tenses here.
Maybe "I had run away, waving my hands in the air. This is something I do a lot but I have no idea why."

It went meoooowing all the say - way. Also to kick a cat that far into the air would take a lot of strength. Plus major dislike points for your character. :(

I was way more scared than those three than the zombies.- scared of those

We have llllots- lots
Vladvonbounce chapter 1 . 8/28/2013
1. Zombie apocalypse stories are awesome
2. Yours is funny
Therefore great job. I really like the way you follow movies like Shaun of the dead and zombieland with the jumping between semi serious and ridiculous. Am very keen to read on.

I'm In the middle of the Armageddon - In doesn't need a capital

The zombie invasion started as most of them do, see. - I am not sure what you mean by see?

Scream like retarded. Many wimpy teens and girls and boys that like their same gender do this.- This is offensive on multiple counts. Maybe just leave it at scream?

threatened by guts eaters- braineaters?

That's why, to keep myself from becoming insane is that I have sneaked into a neighbor's open house and stolen two chocolate bars-The tense is a bit funny here. This might make more sense- That's why, to keep myself from becoming insane, I sneaked into a neighbor's open house and stole two chocolate bars.
Iluvzombiestoo chapter 14 . 8/25/2013
Oh, finally woman (or man, whatever you are).

As usual, hilarious chapter. Hope Collin tankled somewhere safe. And what? Lucas, I always knew it!

And I think you should leave the story here while rewriting. I personally like the story the way it is, weird and random but it's true it's not as good as it could be. So it's up to you, but I personally prefer you'd go the rewriting road.
Yeshua1213 chapter 1 . 8/25/2013
we have some nice stuff here... keep it up
Buttersmash chapter 14 . 8/25/2013
I agree. It is amateur.

However, you have something not everyone has: the ability to make readers laugh. And I don't mean laugh like a snort, but laugh in the way I crack up while my classmates stare at me like I'm crazy. So even if you rewrite, which is a wise decision, don't take away the randomness and charm that makes this story so unique.

So, as most of the other readers, rewriting has a vote for me. Good luck... and try to make it even funnier if that's possible ;D
Buttersmash chapter 12 . 8/25/2013
Make Collin squish between the doors? What for? Duff is such a bully XD

I don't remember this chapter either. Maybe I skipped it. Stupid Itouch...
Buttersmash chapter 3 . 8/25/2013
I don't remember many of what happened in ths chapter. Did you rewrite? Anyway it's even funnier than what you had last time.
Buttersmash chapter 2 . 8/25/2013
So I decided to reread. Yes, you read well, reread. It's been like three weeks and I still can't find any funny humor to read, so yeah.

I forgot to say this last time I read: Duff Obama? Er, well, there's a first for everything.
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