|Reviews for Silence took the Noise|
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
Interesting snippet. Never thought about silence quite like that. And a good size too. Long enough to capture the image but short enough not to put too much detail into it.
I think you've overused commas here. Pausing too much can sometimes take away the emphasis where it's due. Eg. "People listen, they can do nothing else, at their hearts mourn for the silence." You could write that as "People listen. They can do nothing else as their hearts mourn for the silence." or alternatively replace that comma with a semi-colon. I think either would work. But using commas somewhat diminishes the effect, and the second one is entirely unnecessary. Same with "It began, with hurried glances and questioning looks" - no comma necessary. There are a few more examples floating around as well.
"A silent toll clangs"? It reminds me of the term "a bell tolls", but in that case "toll" is a verb, in which case it can't "clang", another verb. What exactly did you mean by that?
Nice ending. "Beautiful troubles" huh. The world has to be constantly dynamic for us pitiful humans huh...
| All Along chapter 1 . 3/1/2012
This is absurdly...beautiful, really.
The last line left me exasperated with you. Just because; this is an incredible piece.