Reviews for A Lion With a Broken Jaw
AquariusGirl230191 chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
I really enjoyed this. I initally thought the man was the grim reaper and the man was passing over. Though as it went on I thought maybe it was his brother. Regardless of who you intended it to be, I like the way it makes you think and never confirms anything. like, Is owen mad or is the eyeless man real? Loved the ending. Loved it all really. Its thought provoking. Well written, great job!
YFIQ chapter 1 . 4/11/2012
I wonder if the young man in his hallucination is his brother. Aside from the fact that he's senile, he's crazy as well, yikes.
Tim Cummings chapter 1 . 4/11/2012
Another good outing. I am left without a clear resolution of the specter/madness connection. The specter could be the product of his madness, or could have followed him and driven him mad. Many writers fall prey to a need to 'tell all'. I personally prefer to have my thoughts provoked. Well done.

Since I assume it's posted for all time there are a couple of small proof edits you might want to make:

'was young man' would be 'was a young man' in p2 and 'less painful that' would be 'less painful than' 10p short of the end. Tiny things, but they distract from the flow for a tight reader.
Frap chapter 1 . 4/5/2012

Short, precise, powerful, uplifting, thought provoking, seasoned with the utmost skill of a young writer that shows that potential for greatness is not far off the horizon.

This was well written, and well planned. I don't think you could have written it any other way but this way. Your attention to the words used to display the emotions, and also give the plot and history in such a small package, delivered a powerful punch of reality that some may not see coming.

This was just an outstanding story and I really thank you for posting to share!

**Stands up**

The Primp State chapter 1 . 3/1/2012

I don't say that a lot, but this definitely warranted it. The shortness and simplicity of the writing, yet the hidden complexity and profundity of the theme, really caught me and drew me in. The mixing of politics and ethics and war...well, let's say that I happen to be a person highly geared towards that sort of direction, hence my attraction to this story.

The ending was one of the best parts for me; almost like one of those twist endings, where the focus zooms out and we see the context of the story - and sheds a whole new light on everything that just happened. Of course we immediately understand who the general's talking to, but your choice to end it with the uncomprehending doctors really added a nice touch.

I don't entirely know why, but this story struck a very deep chord within me. At any rate, I would just like to say that this is now officially my favorite piece of work on this site. Kudos to you, my friend.

~ Primp