|Reviews for Potion of Hearts|
| Vivace.Assai chapter 3 . 3/27/2012
Sorry for this rather late review. It's only two days since you updated, but usually I'm more on top of reviewing stories than this. But anyways, no worries about the late update! This time period tends to be rather busy, so it's understandable.
First off, I'd just like to point out some small technical errors that I noticed while reviewing the chapter:
[He had said that he would explain what's happening to me and why I'm here.] Just as a note, you switched tenses from past tense with [had said] to present tense with [what's happening] and [why I'm].
["Uh, thanks" I mumbled...] You did this a few times, so I wanted to point out that you sometimes forget to put punctuation between the dialogue and the [I mumbled]. So just be slightly cautious of that.
That business done with, let's get onto the more fun part of the review.
I like this Arcadia you've set up. It is pretty similar to the world of Wonderland, but it has a more technological and modern feel to it (what with Castle of Games - it reminds me of a video game or something along the like). The information about Arcadia was also nice. It leaves a lot to be learned but gives enough information so I'm not terribly confused about it all.
Also I enjoyed the conversation between the caterpillar and Alicia. Very cryptic but at the same time pretty hilarious... especially when the caterpillar called her back with "Hun." Definitely not the typical caterpillar you think of.
You're doing very well with making this story distinctive from Alice in Wonderland. The characters are the iconic ones we all know and love, but you've twisted them and changed them to be your own characters.
Great job with the story so far. Thanks for the good read.
| T.L. Chasse chapter 3 . 3/25/2012
Fun chapter. I'm enjoying your take on this story. Poor Alicia (although she seems pretty tough ;) - I'd be freaking out right about now. LOL
| Vivace.Assai chapter 2 . 3/5/2012
Another great chapter. I can start to see these connections between Alice and Wonderland and this story. As for the plot itself, very interesting. The take on the game of checkers was rather haunting, but it definitely added a certain uniqueness to this story. As for this mysterious guy... very interesting. I'm definitely curious to see how all of this plays out.
Your descriptions continue to be nicely done. My favorite had to be the descriptions in the first paragraph where you described the table. I could visualize it perfectly in my head.
Thanks for the great read! Update soon!
| Vivace.Assai chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
Exciting start. A story based off of Alice in Wonderland? That definitely piques my interest. I always loved Alice in Wonderland and stories inspired by it are always a joy to read. So, I'm definitely going to put this into my list of stories to look out for and wait excitedly for your next update.
The writing is also well done. The descriptions are nice and cover all the senses pretty well. I like how your narration portrays your character well.
I can't wait to read more! Thanks for sharing this with us!
| T.L. Chasse chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
You're off to an interesting start. Keep going . . .