Reviews for Revolution
Vivace.Assai chapter 36 . 10/14/2012
Once again, sorry it took so long to get to this review. I've just been very busy so reviews might not be as quick as usual.

But this was a great, really emotional chapter. I felt that you captured the devastation of the fighting really nicely. There's sometime this stereotype that there is glory in revolution or war because you're fighting for something wonderful, but at the end of it, war only results in devastation and sadness for all involved. I think the details you afforded in this chapter really helped show this. The fact that everybody just rushes on not even noticing Felicity is dead... the fact that Joey isn't even certain if he didn't kill his own men... all of this shows how hectic everything is and everybody is suffering losses.

I like this turn in plot. To have Felicity - a major character - dead makes everything a lot more dramatic (especially since she isn't even given a dramatic death scene... she just suddenly dies). At the same time, I like that the Doctor got hurt too and is now attacked by several soldiers because it shows he isn't all powerful and he is only human. Overall, this just gives Joey a lot to think about. As he's the leader of the revolution, this means he has to do something so I'm just curious about what he'll do.

Great chapter! I really like what you're doing with this story. :)

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 35 . 9/24/2012
Okay, it's been a month and I'm really sorry it took me so long to get to reviewing this chapter. I've been really busy and haven't been able to review much recently. However, I'm excited to be returning to this story so let's continue!

This was quite an interesting shift to focus on the Beloved Leader and his wives rather than the revolutionaries. It really highlighted the cruelty present in the Beloved Leaders, especially Crystal. The Beloved Leader seems to be more delusional about his beliefs than anything... as for Crystal, she's clearly sadistic. I hope the Doctor survives what is about to happen or Joey will come and save him. I really want this revolution to succeed, since it's really unfair how such sadistic people are ruling the poor and thinking of them as slaves. But I liked the switch, since for the first time, readers are given a first hand account of the Beloved Leaders' cruelty and how bad the people are. Suddenly, every word spoken before is proven true and I can't help but gape at what the revolutionaries are fighting against.

Plus, this plot is heading towards something really interesting!

Thanks for the great read!

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 34 . 8/19/2012
Wow... Surprising outcome. From the offset, the odds are against the revolutionaries, which makes sense. This revolution would be dangerous and difficult - the characters can't easily win and gain what they want in an instant. There will have to be sacrifices. Nevertheless, I feel so connected to all the characters that I was kind of hoping this wouldn't happen.

I like how you showed how repulsive the castle was. It's clear that while everybody is living a life of difficulty, the people in the castle are living an opulent and happy life. The conversations between the characters perpetuate this idea that the Beloved Leaders live an easy life while everybody else suffers and must struggle throughout the days.

You built up the emotions well in this short chapter. Before the ambush, there was a sense of tension but also confusion. I liked how realistic you kept it - the characters are surprised for a minute and then instantly chaos breaks loose... so much chaos that the narration can't even give a clear indication of what happens. This definitely reflects what an ambush would be like.

Overall, another nice chapter! Excited to read more!

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 33 . 8/13/2012
Ah! An update! And a very intriguing if short update.

I think it was interesting to see another side of the Doctor. He was the one who wanted to start the revolution but now we see some uncertainty from him. This is rather realistic though it shows how much the Doctor loves peace - it suggests that things must be really bad if he needs to ask for a revolution. I loved the reminiscent tone of this chapter since it fits how much the Doctor misses the happier days. Everything fits the wistful hopes of the Doctor and how much he yearns for a better conclusion. The tone of this chapter also foreshadows how many sacrifices will be made for the coming battle...

I'm excited to see what will happen with the battle.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 32 . 7/16/2012
Great chapter! I'm really excited to see how this revolution will play out (as I've probably said in most of my other reviews). But really, this revolution is such a turning point that I can't help but be worried.

One of my favorite parts in this chapter is Joey's speech. When he talks about death, your dialogue really gets at the power in his voice. You don't really describe how he speaks and yet, I can just sense the forceful way he is talking, how uplifting his voice sounds, how he is trying to be helpful. Your dialogue really befit a leader at that moment and I really enjoyed it. It offered such insight about how sacrifices have to be made and that these people must confront death for a better future. It's really sad but this is a revolution. And I like how that speech really points that out. Furthermore, the way Joey handles the question continues to show his ability to be a leader - he does have the power and the will to make everybody respect him. Now, he just needs the time to gain all that respect.

Also, I quite enjoyed how you looked at all the characters and their feelings towards this revolution. We get a good idea of how the Doctor feels, how Felicity feels, how Sheila feels - you made a connectivity by looking into all the characters and their feelings.

Great chapter. Excited to see what will happen next.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 31 . 7/10/2012
Great advancement of the plot. So the revolution we've been hearing about from the summary for so long has finally come. I can't wait to see how intense and powerful this will be. Maybe Bill-Samus will appear along with the Beloved Leader whoever he is. Maybe well learn about how the Beloved Leader became corrupted and what led up to the oppression. I'm not really sure but I'm excited to see what will happen come next chapter.

I think this chapter was really consistent with the characters. Once again, the Doctor displays how he is such a great leader. His moment where he forgets Joey is the new leader is very realistic - I know a club leader who was the leader for two years. When she left, she sometimes took the reign without knowing it. So I liked that little moment. Also I like how Joey reacts. Uncertainty is realistic but his adoption of the plan was great since it shows he does have the strength.

Overall great chapter. Interested to see what will happen next.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 30 . 7/8/2012
Another nice chapter. It isn't as exciting as the last two and this chapter didn't strike me as much, but it was still interesting. I think it was a great chapter to show that Joey has the capability to be a leader. Even though he is completely off put by everything and he isn't certain how to act and what to say, he is still able to give these four guys a proper welcome and even end with a saying that would fit the Doctor himself - thus, Joey is starting to grow and become more prepared for the position he will soon hold. Joey's development as a character is great and he probably is the roundest character in this story - which works since he is the main character and he needs to grow and change.

I do feel that I want the plot to speed up. There's a revolution that you've been hinting at for quite awhile and now I'm wondering when that revolution will come. There's been no indication of coming events that will force the story into a climax or indication of the Beloved Leaders' eventual fall. Any hint or even foreshadowing would make the plot more engrossing, but this is just a suggestion.

But overall, this was a nice chapter and I really enjoy reading this story.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 29 . 7/6/2012
This was another amazing chapter. Once again, you've shown another side of the Doctor, while also givine more context into his past. It's quite interesting that he had been friends with the Beloved Leader - I'm starting to wonder if we'll ever meet the Beloved Leader and learn about his story (and why he/she became corrupt). Also, this chapter nicely showed how the Doctor has all these regrets in his past and past hauntings - he's this dynamic character who always acts certain but he's just as troubled as everybody else.

I liked the conversation between the Doctor and Joey. Joey's concern is once again, quite understandable and I think you've made him a realistic character in his reactions and attitudes. I also thought it was curious that the Doctor's mother had a premonition concerning Joey - I guess it explains a lot more why the Doctor believes in Joey so much.

Can't wait to see what shall happen next. This is a great story!

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 28 . 7/5/2012
Okay, this chapter is probably my most favorite chapter yet because of the conversation between Lucy and the Doctor. So much is revealed in that conversation that I'm completely stunned.

The current thoughts in my mind concern Lucy's love of the twisted fairy tales. She mentions how her mother loves the stories where people are hurt for betraying the Beloved Leaders while Joey has a 'bad attitude.' Yet in our perspective (and probably the Doctor's), we realize that Joey was more aware of what was wrong with the society and actually reacting in a better way - in a way where he had a chance of going against the Leaders if he had a power. Lucy and her mother, however, have both accepted what is wrong with society as something good and beautiful. And yet, Lucy views her mother as better in that mindset than her father. This reveal is certainly bewildering and it shows just how bad the Beloved Leaders have brainwashed and oppressed the people. It's just so frightening.

But I find the Doctor's insistence that she forgive her father to be wonderful on his part. The Doctor is truly a great man and I get why he's so loved. I sometimes want him to have more fallacies because that would make him more relatable and more human - rather than a god on a pedestal. But luckily, your mentions of his family and vengeance does bring him down a notch so he's an enjoyable character to have.

Overall great chapter. Thanks for the great read.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 27 . 6/25/2012
A great chapter. I really love the Doctor as a character. He's a really nice guy and he knows a lot about the world. He's wise and sagacious, and he is always supportive and makes the right decisions. Granted, this brilliance doesn't allow him to be a shining main character but that role is given to Jeoy instead. The Doctor, however, does well acting as Joey's mentor and teacher.

Joey's reaction to the Doctor's "insults" were well-done, especially since his words showed how strong he can be and how defiance is nestled deep within him. He just needs to become more certain and gain a better control of that fire within him. I have a feeling he will be a good leader, though we will see. I'm curious as to what the training will do for him and how the plot will advance from here.

Overall, a nice chapter. Thanks for the great read.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 26 . 6/23/2012
Lucy kind of annoyed me in this chapter. I understand that she is a child and that the Doctor has helped her so much that she respects him... But the way she treats her father is rather cruel and wrong. She basically calls him a nobody and a coward. And maybe that was what he used to be, but he's now trying to improve and she should be more supportive. Of course, yeah, she's a little girl and immature but I can't help but feel irked with her reaction. It's probably because she doesn't go into simple denial and cry but because she insults her father by showing lack of faith in him even though he did what he did before to survive and knew nothing different. But anyways, I think this twist adds more complications to the plot and gives Joey more to deal with and conquer to grow as a character.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 25 . 6/18/2012
A very nice chapter. I liked the reflections of the doctor. The fact you focus so much on his obsession with Bill-Samus shows how big this issue is for him. And it's a consistent part of his character so it doesn't feel out of place or sudden since you make it such a distinct part of the doctor's character. I wonder what shall happen when the revolution begins and how Joey will lead everything. Looking forward to it with bated breath.

Signing off...

P.S. sorry this review is short. Kind of tired right now and reviewing with iPad is harder.
Vivace.Assai chapter 24 . 6/17/2012
Ah... Joey is leading the revolution? That's an interesting turn in events but I feel that's a great twist since it gives Joey a chance to rise and become a different person. I see character development beginning for him and I can't wait to see him as a fearless leader as the revolution continues on. And also, the Doctor's decision shows how wise he is and how he isn't a person interested in power - in being the leader. He understand when it is time to back down and when it is time to lead.

And I'm surprised that he has amassed so many people. Maybe this revolution might work after all.

Overall, this was another great chapter. The plot is getting exciting. I probably won't be able to review any chapters in the coming week but this was great.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 23 . 6/16/2012
Another great chapter. I'm surprised by the weapon but it's actually a lot more intelligent and well-planned than just a weapon that uses brute force to win.

I also liked how Joey is changing as a character - his concern for his daughter shows that his experiences are making a difference to him. A changing character is a lot more interesting and endearing than a stagnant character.

But the plot is getting exciting. Hopefully all goes well.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 22 . 6/16/2012
An interesting chapter. The confrontation between the Doctor and Joey went splendidly - intense and everybody reacted in a realistic fashion. I'm also glad to see Joey understand and grow as a person - he's becoming more aware about the people around him and how others feel. Clearly, he can see he is luckier than some people.

I'm curious as to what this secret weapon is. And I'm curious to see what will happen when this revolution starts. One thing I'm most interested in is the summary suggest Joey will help the revolution and so far I've seen the Doctor playing a huger role in everything. I'm very curious to see how Joey will rise and help the people.

Signing off...
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