|Reviews for Spring Break|
| Icy Shadows chapter 5 . 3/16/2012
I'm going to do a review of "monday" and "tuesday" in this one review since both chapters were out at pretty well the same time :)
So, their adventures in Hershey park were even better than I had expected! I thought there would be a pause from the Ellen drama but it was brought in very smoothly and believably (happens to me all the time strangely enough, though over much smaller and fixable things.)
Her epiphany that it wasn't worth being friends with them was awesome because it's showing her growth as a person as these situations tend to enforce.
Her spending time with her sister was a great way to have her evaluate her feelings. I'm excited to see where it goes from there!
All in all, there are still some silly/small grammar and spelling mistakes but they are a very easy fix. The story, which is most important, flows beautifully and is very engrossing. I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Icy Shadows chapter 3 . 3/12/2012
This chapter built up so much anticipation for the next one! I can't wait for her to see Scott again!
I loved how above all her parents supported her even if she expected to be in trouble, or for her mom to take Ellen's side.
The characters are really becoming loveable and fleshed out. I can really imagine them as real people since they behave very realistically.
I'm so excited for what's to come!
| Icy Shadows chapter 2 . 3/9/2012
I am so happy this second chapter came up right after my review. It cut the wait I was expecting by quite a lot I must say! Great second chapter, I like how the story has progressed with a nice pace since I am assuming this will be set over a full week (perhaps longer if they are privileged to have 2 weeks off?)
Now on to some critiques:
- "AJ rolled his eyes" this was repeated in the story 2 or 3 times and every time I had to double check that I was right in thinking AJ was a girl? It's a quick fix thankfully!
- There have been a lot of characters introduced in a short period and I was starting to get a little confused as to who is who. I know who the girls are but the guys get a bit muddled. Mostly I tend to confuse Grant and Alex for some reason, I think partially because Grant seemed to change a lot in one chapter. The way he speaks to her is completely different and uncharacteristic with our first encounter of him.
- Flows nicely and has a nice tone and steady timing.
- The dialogue is completely believable sine I still remember talking like that in high school. (In all honesty, I still talk like that sometimes)
- The chapters are a nice length. Not too long where it becomes a bit of a chore to read, the subject matter is compelling and engrossing.
Overall I'm excited for the next instalment!
Keep it up!
| Icy Shadows chapter 1 . 3/9/2012
Great read! I loved the characters and the descriptions fit perfectly into the narrative.
The narrator is great, she does the perfect amount of observing a reacting in whatever situation she is in, sometimes a hard balance to find.
I like that as she slowly drank more she also became bolder, you were able to show a progression as she slowly became less sober.
All in all, I'm not sure if this story ends here or if you will be adding chapters (I hope for more chapters personally). I'll be following none the less and am excited to see if this story continues!