Reviews for Sinking In Quicksand
whatthegreencarrot chapter 1 . 12/15/2012
[She picked up another box and proceeded carrying it outside to sort it later.] Just a suggestion, but you might want to write "to carry" instead of "carrying." It might sound less awkward :D

[Todd and Elise had know each other since she was eleven and he was twelve. ] You missed the "n" at the end of "known," so you ended up writing "know."

It's a good story, I'll say. I like the way you described Elise and Todd, who seem like an excellent couple :D Looking forward to more!

-whatthegreencarrot
Reeech Beeetch chapter 1 . 6/7/2012
A little bit predictable but you managed to make it believable, esp with the bit about remembering the years of their friendship with a duel of plastic swords. I just hoped you delved more into why they were so special to the other and how there were indications that he actually liked her. Do mind your punctuation marks as well and try to make the dialogue more conversational. Hope this helps. Cheers!
Emnem23 chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
Absolutely wonderful :) Once I started reading, I could not stop! I loved everything about this story. It reminded me kind of how me and my husband were back in high-school and brought a slight tear to my eye. I would say you could actually publish this if it had more of a back story for both Elise and Todd and it would be absolutely fantastic if it did get published... in any case, you have my support 100% keep up your writing because you know how to pull someone into a story :)

-EPG
Emnem23 chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
Absolutely wonderful :) Once I started reading, I could not stop! I loved everything about this story. It reminded me kind of how me and my husband were back in high-school and brought a slight tear to my eye. I would say you could actually publish this if it had more of a back story for both Elise and Todd and it would be absolutely fantastic if it did get published... in any case, you have my support 100% keep up your writing because you know how to pull someone into a story :)

-EPG
flunkybubbleshorts chapter 1 . 3/22/2012
It's a really good story!
zettaiyo chapter 1 . 3/17/2012
I love your stories on FF and am glad to see you here. Great job. Hope to see more of your work at both sites.