Reviews for Metal
Valenteen chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
What's there is good, and what could be there if you updated it could be just as good. It's short, sweet, to the point, but I get the feel that it's missing something, perhaps a little more length.
i l n o k chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
the wedding band that bound the impossible.

That's lovely, considering the myths behind a wedding ring.

Nice contrast in this one. :3
Damian B chapter 1 . 5/30/2012
I have to say one thing. This. Was. Increidble. You truly are a credit to the world of poetry and to the British culture of writing. Please continue updatingf all of your stories and make sure they all shine brightly.)
TheGlycoprotein chapter 1 . 3/27/2012
Beautiful, you've used contrast really effectively here :)
Eden Green chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
Not bad AppleCrumble.

'The wedding band that bound the impossible,

And the tiny pace maker that fixed the tiny heart.'

Great lines, well done!
CorkyBookworm1 chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
Wow, I must say that THIS is one of my favorites. It's so simple and straight to the point. It's very impressive. I love the contrast. I love the entire topic. I love how you twisted the seemingly oblivious object of metal into far more than the average person would. I mean, who's going to think twice about metal, really? You seem to pull the most meaningful ideas right out of your hat sometimes. Thankyou so much for sharing. It really touched me. The entire thing was so wonderful. I must admit that what stood out the most were these three lines "The wedding band around the impossible/the planes that flew into the towers/and the lovers who never would come home." Beautiful.
Mylilblackpen chapter 1 . 3/17/2012
I love the imagery and I think it had a nice feel to it. Beautiful as always!
Eleantris chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
This is gorgeous, I love how you took a simple concept about metal and moulded it into a deeply hitting poem about war and terrorism - the line about the twin towers really got me. Wow, you're such an amazing writer!

X :D
Craig Thorpe chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
Wow! Very deep. Great piece
Meadow Frost chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
It's so sad yet so true, Loved it. At the vary end though where you say, "And the lovers who'd never would come home." Just take out the d on who'd or the would and it will be fine. :-)
Shauni Cooper chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
I enjoyed this one. The simplicity of it is what makes it quite impacting. You are a very good author, and your material is pleasing to read. Keep writing! You are doing very well! :)

-Shauni