|Reviews for Kundalini|
| Velvet Vixen chapter 1 . 9/12/2012
I thought the word choices made it clear what you were trying to say. The only problem was that when read as a whole I thought it was a bit confusing and maybe there were too many images by the end. If it had been shorter, it may have been better because then you would've had to select what you put in more carefully.
It was a good poem but I think it could've been better.
| DutchAver chapter 1 . 5/23/2012
I have troubles deciphering what this poem is about: is it about a paedophile who thought he could rape a kid, but then found out that the kid was actually a snake? Yes, I've read the Author's Note, but I can't really find your explanation in this poem, which is why I asked that question. It's not as good as your other poems, IMHO.
Maybe your other work is better :)
| Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
Very interesting. Rape has been on my mind lately. (writing it, not committing it of course)
"black sheets" is creative, especially paired with the yellow orbs and skinless parts. That's my favorite bit.
I'm not sure if the "aye"s and "nay"s quite work. They're a bit jarring?
| Asarikou-chan chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
You know, the theme of this story reminded me with a poem I studied the previous semester. A sick Rose by William Blake. It was about a worm and a rose and if we studied it deeper, it was about rape or illegal relationship but maybe the different there was that the rose was silly enough to get taken advantage of.